The night started out with a "Rock Medley" featuring our top 9. This was horrendous. It was just a sign of things to come.
Alex: He sang No Doubt's "Don't Speak." The name of the song should
had been "Don't Sing." He did this stupid Jason Mrazesque rendition of
it. Terrible.
#NoDoubtHeSucks
Majesty: She attempted to sing Florence + The Machine's "Shake It
Out." I know it's not fair to compare the contestants to the original
artist, but this is a Florence Welch song she is trying to sing.
Florence is the best female vocalist alive today and Majesty isn't
worthy of being in her audience, let alone singing one of her songs.
What a disgrace this was.
#MajestyBrokeTheMachine
Dexter: He sang some country song. What little I heard of it sucked,
but I muted most of the performance. I had to "wash" that terrible
cover Majesty performed out of my head. Listen to this: http://youtu.be/qyXnZebVHf4
That is Florence performing "Shake It Out" live for the X-Factor (Britain)
That voice is pure raw talent. Florence's voice Mount Everest of
singing voices. Majesty's is barely an ant hill. Oh yeah, Dexter, the
rest of the song probably sucked.
#ItsCountryItsCrap
Malaya: She sang "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles. Well
Malaya, with a crappy voice like that, the road you're on is a dead end.
#RoadRash
Sam: Sang a terrible song, terrible.
#TerribleWoolf
Jessica: Sang Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon" This was the third time I
heard this song today. Jessica's cover was a refreshing version of it. A
nice showcase of her vocal talent, which is the best on this show.
#ThirdTimesACharm
CJ: Sang some stupid song. Not much to say here. It was bad.
#CrackerJacked
Caleb: Wow, he sure can go over the top. [sarcasm]He surprised me by
doing things he has never done before in his performances.[/sarcasm]
Enough with this one note yelling hack.
#HisZeppelinIsTheHindenburg
Jena: Sang "bring Me To Life" Well, this did the opposite, it damn
near killed me with it atrociousness. Her voice just isn't powerful
enough those heavy parts.
#ThisShowNeedsCPR
Side Note: The "Judges" suck.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
American Idol Top 10 3/19/14
Yes I know, you were all sad last week since there was no SATYR Review. But it's back this week and better than ever!
MK: Sang P!nk's "Perfect." This performance was far from that. MK didn't have the oomph in her voice for this song nor was it soft enough to be a quiet emotional take on it. This might be her last week.
#LookAtTheFlowersMK
Dexter: My Grandfather was a pilot in WW2. He once told me a story about his plane getting shot down. He bailed out in time and was rescued by ground troops. He would have nightmares about that day, his plane getting shot down, but he could never bail out. He would go down with the plane. One year for Christmas, my parents and I flew with him and Grandma to Florida to visit relatives there. Gramps was seated next to me. He fell asleep quickly. Half an hour later, we ran into some bad turbulence. Grandpa woke up screaming. It was bloodcurdling. It scared the life out of me. He passed away in 2006, but that scream has stayed with me since. And you know what? That scream sounded better than Dexter's performance.
#KamikazeKaraoke
Jena: Sang Zedd's "Clarity." The only thing that was clear to me is the fact that this chick can't sing worth crap.
#BlowStix
Alex: Sang some crapfest One Direction song since he is secretly working for Simon Cowell. Anyways, this was sucked.
#AlexSucksStoryOfHisLife
Malaya: Sang some dumb Bruno Mars song. It made me with Maylaya was booked on a Malaysian Airlines flight.
#GoneThenForgotten
Caleb: Sang Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." I wish I could push Caleb off that edge. Yes Caleb, please continue with the over the top notes in every performance, we are all so impressed by the fact that you can scream. Here's a goal for you, try not to make rock so damn dull.
#EdgeOfBoring
CJ: Somebody should tell him he would sound better if his mouth wasn't full of excrement. And I'm not talking about the song he sang.
#CrappyJowls
Jessica: Did a fantastic rendition of "Pumped Up Kicks." One of my favorite songs. The fact that she understood the essence of this song was a key factor in making this the performance of the night.
#SandyHookSchoolSong
Majesty: Sang "Wake Me Up." My sentiments exactly. This was boring as hell.
#SlumberParty
Sam: Tonight, my review is done. So let's set this douche on fire, cause he sings worse than everyone!!!!
#ThisWoolfIsNoFun
MK: Sang P!nk's "Perfect." This performance was far from that. MK didn't have the oomph in her voice for this song nor was it soft enough to be a quiet emotional take on it. This might be her last week.
#LookAtTheFlowersMK
Dexter: My Grandfather was a pilot in WW2. He once told me a story about his plane getting shot down. He bailed out in time and was rescued by ground troops. He would have nightmares about that day, his plane getting shot down, but he could never bail out. He would go down with the plane. One year for Christmas, my parents and I flew with him and Grandma to Florida to visit relatives there. Gramps was seated next to me. He fell asleep quickly. Half an hour later, we ran into some bad turbulence. Grandpa woke up screaming. It was bloodcurdling. It scared the life out of me. He passed away in 2006, but that scream has stayed with me since. And you know what? That scream sounded better than Dexter's performance.
#KamikazeKaraoke
Jena: Sang Zedd's "Clarity." The only thing that was clear to me is the fact that this chick can't sing worth crap.
#BlowStix
Alex: Sang some crapfest One Direction song since he is secretly working for Simon Cowell. Anyways, this was sucked.
#AlexSucksStoryOfHisLife
Malaya: Sang some dumb Bruno Mars song. It made me with Maylaya was booked on a Malaysian Airlines flight.
#GoneThenForgotten
Caleb: Sang Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." I wish I could push Caleb off that edge. Yes Caleb, please continue with the over the top notes in every performance, we are all so impressed by the fact that you can scream. Here's a goal for you, try not to make rock so damn dull.
#EdgeOfBoring
CJ: Somebody should tell him he would sound better if his mouth wasn't full of excrement. And I'm not talking about the song he sang.
#CrappyJowls
Jessica: Did a fantastic rendition of "Pumped Up Kicks." One of my favorite songs. The fact that she understood the essence of this song was a key factor in making this the performance of the night.
#SandyHookSchoolSong
Majesty: Sang "Wake Me Up." My sentiments exactly. This was boring as hell.
#SlumberParty
Sam: Tonight, my review is done. So let's set this douche on fire, cause he sings worse than everyone!!!!
#ThisWoolfIsNoFun
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
American Idol Top 12 3/5/14
Jena: Sang "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. Well, suddenly I hear a flat boring voice.
#WTFWasSheWearing
Alex: Undercover X-Factor here sounded pretty good, despite the music itself being horrible.
#SimonSaysWin
Jessica: Sang Dido's "White Flag." Jess doesn't need to wave a white flag, cause she's got this in the bag. And damn, she is looking hotter every week.
#WhiteHot
Dexter: I'll be honest, I zoned out of this. He is generic country and that is just a step above Gospel music on the suck scale.
#SerialSongKiller
Emily: She got a nice message from her boyfriend who is serving over seas. She's probably cheating on him. She sang J. Lo.'s "Let's Get Loud." That is the exact opposite of what Emily should of done.
#LoweredSoldierMorale
Caleb: If this were Yelling Idol, Caleb would win this hands down.
#JerkinMan
MK: She had a bow tie on. Bow ties are cool. Too bad this performance wasn't. She sang the gawd awful Train song "Drops of Jupiter" and as a result, she performed badly.
#TheGirlWithTheCaliforniaTattoo
CJ: Sang a John Mayer song. So I immediately blacked out. I came to a couple minutes later to find blood on my walls. It wasn't mine. I have no idea what happened.
#CaptainJackass
Sam: Hipster douche who can't grow a hipster mustache sang some hipster song with his hipster hat on. Hipster.
#SuckyLikeTheWoolf
Malaya Sanjaya: This performance was so bad, I spent the whole time dreaming about how great it would have been if the world did blow up in 2012
#MalayanCalender
Ben: It was just ok.
#IGuess
Majesty: This night was full of crap performances and this was the perfect way to cap it off.
#CrownOfCrap
#WTFWasSheWearing
Alex: Undercover X-Factor here sounded pretty good, despite the music itself being horrible.
#SimonSaysWin
Jessica: Sang Dido's "White Flag." Jess doesn't need to wave a white flag, cause she's got this in the bag. And damn, she is looking hotter every week.
#WhiteHot
Dexter: I'll be honest, I zoned out of this. He is generic country and that is just a step above Gospel music on the suck scale.
#SerialSongKiller
Emily: She got a nice message from her boyfriend who is serving over seas. She's probably cheating on him. She sang J. Lo.'s "Let's Get Loud." That is the exact opposite of what Emily should of done.
#LoweredSoldierMorale
Caleb: If this were Yelling Idol, Caleb would win this hands down.
#JerkinMan
MK: She had a bow tie on. Bow ties are cool. Too bad this performance wasn't. She sang the gawd awful Train song "Drops of Jupiter" and as a result, she performed badly.
#TheGirlWithTheCaliforniaTattoo
CJ: Sang a John Mayer song. So I immediately blacked out. I came to a couple minutes later to find blood on my walls. It wasn't mine. I have no idea what happened.
#CaptainJackass
Sam: Hipster douche who can't grow a hipster mustache sang some hipster song with his hipster hat on. Hipster.
#SuckyLikeTheWoolf
Malaya Sanjaya: This performance was so bad, I spent the whole time dreaming about how great it would have been if the world did blow up in 2012
#MalayanCalender
Ben: It was just ok.
#IGuess
Majesty: This night was full of crap performances and this was the perfect way to cap it off.
#CrownOfCrap
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
American Idol Top 13 2/26/14
Dexter: He looks like a young Jay Leno. And what Leno is to comedy, this guy is to country music. A waste of time.
#CountryWrong
Mayala: She told us "Nothing is the same." Well, she was wrong. Cause this was just as horrible as her other performances. Easily the worst out of this bunch.
#SSDD
Kristen: I really wanted to like this, because this chick is hot, but this was a poor performance and if she keeps it up, she won't last long.
#SuchAShame
Ben: Despite myself, I actually enjoyed this guy. He has natural charisma. He didn't sound too bad.
#BizzaroWorld
C.J.: Generic country sound. Darius Rucker 2.0
#ChurchJerk
M.K.: She looked really pretty tonight. She still looks like a young Jonathan Taylor Thomas from a distance though. Wasn't her best, but it was decent.
#IdolImprovement
Majesty: Bad, bad, bad, bad ,bad. She reminds me of a Newton's Cradle. Once it gets going, it's fun to look at for a while, but it's gets boring and pointless after a minute.
#MajesticMess
Jena: Sang "The Scientist" by Coldplay. we don't need a scientist to test this theory: Jena sucks.
#ScienceBitch
Alex: Wait, he's friends with Alex and Sierra. And he's dating Jillian Jensen. This guy is an X-Facor plant. Simon is secretly trying to take Idol back over.
#VibaLaRevolution
Jessica: She said she's obsessed with Supernatural. I hope from Hell to Castiel she is talking about the show. Anyways, she is fantastic. The best female.
#SuperNaturalTalent
Emily: Very throaty, sexy voice. I like her a lot.
#IWantToSeeMoreOfHerPink
Sam: He sang Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell." And that is the perfect description for this performance. He is weak. And he looks like an older Carl Grimes.
#TheWalkingDud
Caleb: Yep, Jack Black light.
#SchoolOfSuck
#CountryWrong
Mayala: She told us "Nothing is the same." Well, she was wrong. Cause this was just as horrible as her other performances. Easily the worst out of this bunch.
#SSDD
Kristen: I really wanted to like this, because this chick is hot, but this was a poor performance and if she keeps it up, she won't last long.
#SuchAShame
Ben: Despite myself, I actually enjoyed this guy. He has natural charisma. He didn't sound too bad.
#BizzaroWorld
C.J.: Generic country sound. Darius Rucker 2.0
#ChurchJerk
M.K.: She looked really pretty tonight. She still looks like a young Jonathan Taylor Thomas from a distance though. Wasn't her best, but it was decent.
#IdolImprovement
Majesty: Bad, bad, bad, bad ,bad. She reminds me of a Newton's Cradle. Once it gets going, it's fun to look at for a while, but it's gets boring and pointless after a minute.
#MajesticMess
Jena: Sang "The Scientist" by Coldplay. we don't need a scientist to test this theory: Jena sucks.
#ScienceBitch
Alex: Wait, he's friends with Alex and Sierra. And he's dating Jillian Jensen. This guy is an X-Facor plant. Simon is secretly trying to take Idol back over.
#VibaLaRevolution
Jessica: She said she's obsessed with Supernatural. I hope from Hell to Castiel she is talking about the show. Anyways, she is fantastic. The best female.
#SuperNaturalTalent
Emily: Very throaty, sexy voice. I like her a lot.
#IWantToSeeMoreOfHerPink
Sam: He sang Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell." And that is the perfect description for this performance. He is weak. And he looks like an older Carl Grimes.
#TheWalkingDud
Caleb: Yep, Jack Black light.
#SchoolOfSuck
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Review for American Idol 2/19/14 Top 10/15 Guys
It's Rush Week and not a single person sang Tom Sawyer.
If you thought the girls did great, then you must have loved the guys.
Caleb: Hack Jack Black did a great job of shouting out a tune.
#PretentiousD
C.J.: The hat he wore was so stupid, it made his mediocre performance sound like crap.
#CappedJerk
Emmanuel: 4 day old tacos from Taco Bell warmed up in a microwave couldn't give me a worse stomach ache than this performance did.
#EmmanuSmell
Sam: Boring. This was Ben Stein reading out loud transcripts of "Antiques Roadshow" boring.
#DullSamIAm
George: He sang "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. This performance made me wish I hade a grenade. Weak sauce.
#ThisGrenadeWasADud
Dexter: This was way too country.
#DextersFlab
Alex: As much as I want to hate him for snagging up Jillian, he is the best male singer out of this bunch.
#JillianNooooo
Malcolm: Gah, another mediocre performance. So much for 13 being Idol's lucky number. If Malcolm here is one of their best, then Idol should be put out of its misery like that other singing show Fox had.
#MalcolmXFactor
Ben: Well, I guess all that nonsense from last night wasn't for nothing. He was probably second best of the night. But that don't mean anything.
#AmericaMadeTheRightChoiceLOL
Spencer: Sucked. They saved the worst for last. Another Beiber clone that'll get by on good looks.
#LoveDontDieButDreamsDo
If you thought the girls did great, then you must have loved the guys.
Caleb: Hack Jack Black did a great job of shouting out a tune.
#PretentiousD
C.J.: The hat he wore was so stupid, it made his mediocre performance sound like crap.
#CappedJerk
Emmanuel: 4 day old tacos from Taco Bell warmed up in a microwave couldn't give me a worse stomach ache than this performance did.
#EmmanuSmell
Sam: Boring. This was Ben Stein reading out loud transcripts of "Antiques Roadshow" boring.
#DullSamIAm
George: He sang "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. This performance made me wish I hade a grenade. Weak sauce.
#ThisGrenadeWasADud
Dexter: This was way too country.
#DextersFlab
Alex: As much as I want to hate him for snagging up Jillian, he is the best male singer out of this bunch.
#JillianNooooo
Malcolm: Gah, another mediocre performance. So much for 13 being Idol's lucky number. If Malcolm here is one of their best, then Idol should be put out of its misery like that other singing show Fox had.
#MalcolmXFactor
Ben: Well, I guess all that nonsense from last night wasn't for nothing. He was probably second best of the night. But that don't mean anything.
#AmericaMadeTheRightChoiceLOL
Spencer: Sucked. They saved the worst for last. Another Beiber clone that'll get by on good looks.
#LoveDontDieButDreamsDo
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Review for American Idol Top 10/15 Girls
Majesty: As soon as she started singing, the song got away from her. And she wasn't able to get it back. She sucks.
#OnHerMajestysSuckyService
Kristen: The song choice sucked. Her voice sounds older than she is. Mediocre at best. Lucky for her, she is hot.
#IdPlayDoctorWithThisNurse
Briana: She was decent. Not bad, but not really great. So automatically, she's one of the best in this competition.
#BravestWarrior
Jena(Gee-nah): This was crap. She "sang" The Rolling Stones classic "Paint It Black." This song was like a no name character on "The Walking Dead" and Jena was a walker. She tore into this song like it was a piece of meat.
#PaintItCrap
Bria: Unimpressive. It was so lackadaisical that I didn't bother coming up with anything else to say.
#WrongSideOfAnySong
Marrielle: Black Miley Cyrus. Nuff said.
#NoShoeSensation
Jessica: Her nerves were trying to get the best of her, but she held through. And the song choice didn't help either. Actually, most of the song choices were pretty bad tonight.
#IWantToHaveSexWithThisChick
Emily: This was a pretty sexy performance. The singing not that great though. But, I'll be keeping my eye on this girl nevertheless.
#OohLaLaIndeed
MK: This was probably the only honest performance of the night. It's actually great to finally have a contestant who isn't trying to over sing everything. She could be a tad stronger in some parts, but overall, she is a breath of fresh air. Also, I want her to get far in the competition, because it seems Keith has a slight problem with gay people.
#MoralKombat
Malaya: Really? REALLY? They bring out this thing instead of Jillian Jensen? WTF? This thing sucked all over the place.
#WTFWasThePointOfHavingATop15
#OnHerMajestysSuckyService
Kristen: The song choice sucked. Her voice sounds older than she is. Mediocre at best. Lucky for her, she is hot.
#IdPlayDoctorWithThisNurse
Briana: She was decent. Not bad, but not really great. So automatically, she's one of the best in this competition.
#BravestWarrior
Jena(Gee-nah): This was crap. She "sang" The Rolling Stones classic "Paint It Black." This song was like a no name character on "The Walking Dead" and Jena was a walker. She tore into this song like it was a piece of meat.
#PaintItCrap
Bria: Unimpressive. It was so lackadaisical that I didn't bother coming up with anything else to say.
#WrongSideOfAnySong
Marrielle: Black Miley Cyrus. Nuff said.
#NoShoeSensation
Jessica: Her nerves were trying to get the best of her, but she held through. And the song choice didn't help either. Actually, most of the song choices were pretty bad tonight.
#IWantToHaveSexWithThisChick
Emily: This was a pretty sexy performance. The singing not that great though. But, I'll be keeping my eye on this girl nevertheless.
#OohLaLaIndeed
MK: This was probably the only honest performance of the night. It's actually great to finally have a contestant who isn't trying to over sing everything. She could be a tad stronger in some parts, but overall, she is a breath of fresh air. Also, I want her to get far in the competition, because it seems Keith has a slight problem with gay people.
#MoralKombat
Malaya: Really? REALLY? They bring out this thing instead of Jillian Jensen? WTF? This thing sucked all over the place.
#WTFWasThePointOfHavingATop15
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Review for X-Factor 12/11/13
"Divinity of hell! When devils will the blackest sins put on. They do suggest at first with heavenly shows." -Iago
William Shakespeare's Othello
"AMERICA'S CHOICE"
Carlito: In his video package, Carlito gave us some mighty tears while talking about his troubled childhood. Yes, go after those sympathy votes now that Rion is gone. He sang Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend." Yeah, this made me sick. He thinks he's a sex symbol, but the only part of sex he represents is jerking off.
#WishesHeHadABoyfriend
Restless Road: These 3 are lucky they were put together. Because none of them could carry a song on their own. And all 3 are generic sounding. Generic Country Singing Cubed. It's making a sandwich with two peices of bread, and sticking another piece of bread in the middle. And that's it.
#AllOverTheRoad
Alex & Sierra: They sang Of Monsters And Men's "Little Talks." And by gum, this didn't suck like all of the other covers of this song I have heard. These 2 are lucky they found each other, because unlike Talentless Road, these 2 gel well together. I wish they would sing "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
#PeanutButterAndJelly
Jeff: It has become law that all singing competition shows have at least one performance of "Hallelujah." It was Jeff's honor (again) this season. And even though this song makes me roll my eyes like no other, Jeff manages to knock it out of the park. This guy is the winner folks, and if he doesn't win, then this show deserves to die.
#HareKrishna
I am now joined by my friend Gweg.
DUETS
Alex & Sierra VS Carlito
Gweg: I don't think this versus round is fair. These guys have totally different styles.
Satyr: It's a competition Gweg. I think this is a good way for us to hear how bad Carlito and Witless Road do against the only good people this show had this year.
Gweg: I think Carlito did splendid. He held his own.
Satyr: Held his own genitals. He was bringing Alex and Sierra down. Alex was trying to make Carlito look good, but Sierra was like , "F this G" and her vocals straight up raped whatever sound that was coming out of Carl's mouth.
Gweg: See, it isn't fair.
Restless Road VS Jeff
Satyr: I have to say, this wasn't the disaster I thought it would be.
Gweg: Restless Road did very well harmonizing their parts.
Satyr: Who cares? They sounded like backup singers. This song belonged to Jeff. Jeff was like the oldest brother bringing a girl over while his 3 younger brothers tried to get a peek.
Gweg: That's just wrong.
MORE SONGS
Carlito
Satyr: Hashtag: Put Me Out Of My Misery.
Gweg: This was a good song choice for him.
Satyr: Just because he sings a song that was previously done by Latino singer doesn't mean it was a good song choice for him. And all of that background nonsense. The dancers hiding in the speakers at the end, only to see them climb out 30 seconds later. Beyond retarded. But, when your mentor is mentally challenged...
Gweg: She's not mentally challenged, English is just her second language.
Satyr: That's basically what I said.
Restless Road
Gweg: I must say, they improved greatly this week.
Satyr: That's like saying "Good news, our SUVs keep flipping over on tight turns, but they no longer burst into flames!"
Gweg: Why do you always have to put a negative spin on things?
Satyr: I learned it by watching Restless Road covering songs.
Alex & Sierra
Gweg: This was beautiful
Satyr: Yeah, it was. They've had a few bumps, but I think they've finally found their footing.
Gweg: I would buy their album.
Satyr: We should sing Duets together.
Gweg: we would never find our footing, because you'd keep stepping on my toes.
Satyr: Ouch.
Jeff
Satyr: That set. That background. That song. Amazing performance. If it wasn't for my rule of not dating people with kids, I think I'd go gay for Jeff.
Gweg: How many guys is that now?
Satyr: You shut your whore mouth. Speaking of which, so glad Rion isn't on this show anymore.
Gweg: That was uncalled for! She's only 13! I can't believe you.
Satyr: You're right. I'm sorry. She isn't one. Whores can give decent hand jobs.
William Shakespeare's Othello
"AMERICA'S CHOICE"
Carlito: In his video package, Carlito gave us some mighty tears while talking about his troubled childhood. Yes, go after those sympathy votes now that Rion is gone. He sang Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend." Yeah, this made me sick. He thinks he's a sex symbol, but the only part of sex he represents is jerking off.
#WishesHeHadABoyfriend
Restless Road: These 3 are lucky they were put together. Because none of them could carry a song on their own. And all 3 are generic sounding. Generic Country Singing Cubed. It's making a sandwich with two peices of bread, and sticking another piece of bread in the middle. And that's it.
#AllOverTheRoad
Alex & Sierra: They sang Of Monsters And Men's "Little Talks." And by gum, this didn't suck like all of the other covers of this song I have heard. These 2 are lucky they found each other, because unlike Talentless Road, these 2 gel well together. I wish they would sing "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
#PeanutButterAndJelly
Jeff: It has become law that all singing competition shows have at least one performance of "Hallelujah." It was Jeff's honor (again) this season. And even though this song makes me roll my eyes like no other, Jeff manages to knock it out of the park. This guy is the winner folks, and if he doesn't win, then this show deserves to die.
#HareKrishna
I am now joined by my friend Gweg.
DUETS
Alex & Sierra VS Carlito
Gweg: I don't think this versus round is fair. These guys have totally different styles.
Satyr: It's a competition Gweg. I think this is a good way for us to hear how bad Carlito and Witless Road do against the only good people this show had this year.
Gweg: I think Carlito did splendid. He held his own.
Satyr: Held his own genitals. He was bringing Alex and Sierra down. Alex was trying to make Carlito look good, but Sierra was like , "F this G" and her vocals straight up raped whatever sound that was coming out of Carl's mouth.
Gweg: See, it isn't fair.
Restless Road VS Jeff
Satyr: I have to say, this wasn't the disaster I thought it would be.
Gweg: Restless Road did very well harmonizing their parts.
Satyr: Who cares? They sounded like backup singers. This song belonged to Jeff. Jeff was like the oldest brother bringing a girl over while his 3 younger brothers tried to get a peek.
Gweg: That's just wrong.
MORE SONGS
Carlito
Satyr: Hashtag: Put Me Out Of My Misery.
Gweg: This was a good song choice for him.
Satyr: Just because he sings a song that was previously done by Latino singer doesn't mean it was a good song choice for him. And all of that background nonsense. The dancers hiding in the speakers at the end, only to see them climb out 30 seconds later. Beyond retarded. But, when your mentor is mentally challenged...
Gweg: She's not mentally challenged, English is just her second language.
Satyr: That's basically what I said.
Restless Road
Gweg: I must say, they improved greatly this week.
Satyr: That's like saying "Good news, our SUVs keep flipping over on tight turns, but they no longer burst into flames!"
Gweg: Why do you always have to put a negative spin on things?
Satyr: I learned it by watching Restless Road covering songs.
Alex & Sierra
Gweg: This was beautiful
Satyr: Yeah, it was. They've had a few bumps, but I think they've finally found their footing.
Gweg: I would buy their album.
Satyr: We should sing Duets together.
Gweg: we would never find our footing, because you'd keep stepping on my toes.
Satyr: Ouch.
Jeff
Satyr: That set. That background. That song. Amazing performance. If it wasn't for my rule of not dating people with kids, I think I'd go gay for Jeff.
Gweg: How many guys is that now?
Satyr: You shut your whore mouth. Speaking of which, so glad Rion isn't on this show anymore.
Gweg: That was uncalled for! She's only 13! I can't believe you.
Satyr: You're right. I'm sorry. She isn't one. Whores can give decent hand jobs.
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