American Idol Top 7 Plus Sam 4/9/14

In honor of 80's week and 80's icon, The Ultimate Warrior, whom we lost this week, I'm, giving this review a Pro Wrestling theme.


Jena: She sang "I Love Rock and Roll." Well, we only hurt the ones we love, and she tortured this song. Crippler Crossface style.
#RockAndRollExpressCameToAStop



Dexter: Sang "Keep Your Hands To Yourself." I wish he'd keep his songs to himself. Generic country crap. The Road Dogg sings better than him.
#BamBamBumbler



Sam & Alex: When The Undertaker's streak ended at WrestlMania 30 and then when Warrior died, I didn't think this week could get much worse. I was proven wrong when I heard this duet.
#CrappyMania



Malaya: She sang "Though The Fire." I was hoping Kane would show up and make her fall into the fire. She has a grating voice.
#InfernalMatch



Jena & Caleb. Look at the punishment Mankind (Mick Foley) goes through in this Hell in a Cell match from King Of The Ring 1998. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgYoYTbnPo4 After hearing this duet, I now know the pain Foley went through during that match.
#TheTwoHoarseMen



Jessica: Sang "Call Me." Jess, I would call you anytime. You are a breath of fresh air. You are the Trish Stratus of Idol.
#CMSpunk



Sam: The Waste of a Save gave a wreck of a performance. If Maffew did a BotchAMania for American Idol, this whole performance would be on it. Terrible
#TheWoolfPacIsBuried



CJ & Malaya: This was the Idol equivalent of this match: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTO4KticEMk
#LegionOfDumb



Alex: He sang "Every Breath You Take." You know, a song about stalking. Alex here made it sound like a ditty little love song that sounds made for a quirky independent RomCom. In other words, this was a despicable piece of crap.
#TheShartFoundation



Jessica & Dexter: This was like teaming up Trish Stratus with Bastion Booger. Just weird. Jess sounded great though.
#JessicaMichaelsAndDexterJennety



CJ: Sang "Free Fallin'" Gawd he sucks. Listening to him sing is like listening to Lance Storm give a promo. This guy needs to go.
#CactusJackass



Caleb: Caleb reminds me of John Cena. The idiots that watch him cheer him cause they like superficial things they don't have to think about. It's easy on their brains. Those who pay attention realize that he is just a one note repeater. All style and no substance.
#TheJohnSingaOfIdol