Wednesday, March 6, 2013

American Idol Top 10 Boys Season 12 Review

This was all done on Twitter, so the statements are short and sweet.

Elijah:
We got some Ritchie Valens/Rufio looking jerk up first. He sucks.
Rufio Valens looks like he's got a shit stain in his hair.

Cortez:
Cortez is singing "Kicked Out Of Heaven". dont worry, I'm sure they have a nice place for you in Hell. He sucks.

Charlie:
This Charlie kid seems like a bad character out of a David Lynch wannabe movie. He sucks.
Oy vey, he's crying now. Fishing for votes.

Nick:
This guy looks like a Hipster Observer from Fringe. He's singing "Iris" and it sucks.

Burnell:
This Burnell kid looks like a cross between Malcolm X and Steve Urkel. He sucks.

Paul:
This Paul guy is boring. And he's gay. Gay people are not supposed to be boring. Sucks.

Lazaro:
These interviews with Stuttering Bill are excruciating. Where's Pennywise when you need him? Oh yeah, (Lazaro) sucks.

Curtis:
I hate Curtis Finch Jr. Hate everything he represents. He doesn't just suck, he's a black hole for all things good.
Hate the fact the judges try to pass him off as the Jesus of singing competitions. This is #AmericanIdol not a church.

Devin:
This bland guy is singing half his song in Spanish. What a fantastic way to make me not vote for him.

Vincent:
This Vincent guy looks like Randy's younger brother. When he isn't squealing like a girl, he sounds generic.

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