Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Review for American Idol 3/12/13

Nicki was running late. I know I'm not the only one who was hoping for a fatal car accident.

Curtis: One of the worst contestants this season is singing a song by one of the worst winners. He sucks. He's going to be another one of these jackasses who sings every song, the exact same way. I want to punch him.

Janelle: She was looking good tonight. And she sang one of the few country songs I can tolerate. But the whole performance was flatter than a pre-schooler in a steamroller accident.

Devan: This was "Watching Grass Grow With Your Host Charlie Rose" on PBS boring. I've had my feet fallen asleep before, but never my ears. He sucks.

Nicki is wearing a hoodie. Where's George Zimmerman when you need him?

Angie: Gawd, she is beautiful. Absolutely amazing. And her voice is incredible. The definite front runner. And gawd damn is she HOT!

Paul: During his interview, he said "I need to get my stuff straight." That was good for a laugh. Anyways, I had to get up and piss when he started singing. I didn't bother to pause or rewind, but from what I heard down the hall, the piss splashing the water (and occasionally the floor) sounded better than this jerkoff.

Candice: Meh.

Lazaro: I was right, the interviews with Porky Pig here are painful. Every time he performs, I'm reminded of this scene from American Pie 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEDeIvU1si8

Kree: She looks like the actress who looks like Drew Barrymore. She put a country spin on Roy Orbinson's classic "Crying." Screw you Kree! I hope the Skrulls destroy you!

Burnell: Gawd, he sucks. No wonder Mother Nature tried to kill him off with Katrina.

Amber: Terrible. If it wasn't for Angie, this whole season would not be worth it.

SHOCKER OF THE NIGHT: No one sang a Lee Dewyze song!

No comments:

Post a Comment