As soon as Tone the Sucksassa opened the show, I knew we were in for a
horrible night. Every act sucked, except Taylor, who is actually funny.
In fact, it sucked so much, that I decided to do something different.
So, here is a list, from best to worst. And why they sucked.
12: Taylor Williamson (comedian) The guy was actually funny.
11: Forte (opera singers) I like that song and they did right by it. As far as opera goes.
10: Cami Bradley (singer) Not her best, but she is super cute and a
lot better than the other generic singers they got on this show.
9: Red Panda (danger act) I labeled this as a danger act rather than
a acrobatic one, because to me, the danger of what she is doing is what
drew me in. I was at the edge of my seat waiting to see if she could
pull it off and was not bored once.
8: Duo Resonance(balancing couple) They do have some nice moves, but the build up to those moves took too long.
7: Innovative Force (acrobatics) Good moves, but it was all over the place.
6: Jonathan Allen (opera singer) Was dull, but didn't completely suck.
5: Catapult Entertainment (shadow screen dancers) They did some nice
shadow work, but it doesn't mean anything if it doesn't go anywhere. I
told better stories with hand shadows featuring a duck and a dog.
4: Dave Finley (singer) This guys voice really sucked tonight and the beatboxing was a joke.
3: Angela Hoover (impressionist) Good impressions, but the material
just really drags the whole thing down into a suck hole which there is
no escape.
2: Collins Key ("magician") His whole act is incredibly lame. If
anyone was impressed by this, I've got a removable thumb trick that will
blow their mind. Plus, I can make a wooden pencil look like it's made
of rubber. And, the Joker has a nice pencil trick he wants to show you
too.
1: Tone the *beep* (crap) What more can be said about this? This act
just revealed how much Mel B sucks as a judge, especially when she said
this about Red Panda: "I felt like I've seen it before."
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