The girls visited some children's hospital. Nothing more uplifting than seeing a bunch kids who are about to die.
Amber: Sang Celine Dion's "The Power of Love" She did a great job.....Of copying Celine Dion.
Candice: Sang some song by a guy called Drake. Whoever that is.
Only one of the following statements is not true: 1. She sucked. 2. She
didn't sing over the top this time.
Kree: She got to sing to a baby born prematurely. Another reason for
that kid to wish it was still inside the womb. She sang a song called
"It Hurts So Bad." My ears couldn't agree more.
Angie: She has the power to make children look almost adorable.
Hell, I think I'd suspend "Won't do chicks with kids" rule for her, if
she had one. And let's thank King Herod she doesn't. My god she was
incredible tonight.
DUETS
Amber & Kree: They sang Adele's "Rumor Has It." Overrated song led to an underwhelming performance.
Angie & Candice: They were great. Well Angie was. Candice should
thank the producers they let her sing with Angie, who carried her
throughout the whole song.
ONE HIT WONDERS
Amber sang Dumbledore's "MacArthur Park." I wish Dumbledore had been
around to put a Memory Charm on me so I'd forget this performance. This
was terrible. She should have sang Weird Al's "Jurassic Park." That
song was a parody and this performance was a joke.
Candice: Sucked. I'd rather be hide in a boat with a Boston Bomber than listen to this again.
Kree: Sang "Whiter Shade of Pale." This performance was a duller shade of boring.
Angie: Everything about this was perfection. Her voice, her looks,
the song, the atmosphere. If she walked in on a funeral for one of my parents
and told me to take her right then and there, I would do her right on top of
the casket.
Candice: Sang "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul. She gave the song this
jazzy, lounge singer twist to it. It was horrible. Save the lounge
singer cover versions to someone that can pull it off, like Richard
Cheese.
Janelle: Sang some Vince Gill song. Her parents said that hearing
Vince Gill made her stop crying when she was a baby. If my parents tried
that when I was a baby, I would have grabbed the cord from the Venetian
Blinds we had on our windows, wrapped it around my neck, and threw
myself over the side of the crib. Incidentally, this performance made me
want to grab a Venetian blind cord.
Kree: She would be a knockout if she lost some pounds. She should
run in a marathon, she'd be guaranteed to lose some weight. Especially
in the legs. She sang The Black Crowes' "She Talks To Angels" It sucked.
Angie: I love her. She looked downright gorgeous tonight. However,
she sang The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You." That song should never be
touched again after Pia Toscano sang it perfectly on Idol a few years
back. Angie did make it sound good though.
Amber: Sang the Mariah Carey version of Harry Nilsson's "Without
You." While watching this, the power in my house went of for a few
seconds from the storm outside. Not even Mother Nature could stand
listening to this crap.
SONGS BY DIVAS
Candice: Sang some song Mariah and Whitney did together. I think it
was called, "Let's Do Some Cocaine" or something like that. This
performance was the over-the-top Mariah/Whitney wannabe crap we've come
to expect from Yahtzee (get it?) here.
Janelle: Sang a Dolly Parton song. Of course. It was called "Dumb Blond." Never has there been a more fitting song.
Kree: She sang a Celine Dion song. And what is the rule for singing a Celine Dion song? DON'T DO IT! It's like watching a 2-bit birthday party magician trying to perform the magic of Houdini. Kree blew it.
Angie: Sang Beyonce's "Halo." Never been a fan of the Beyonce, but
Angie made this song sound great. I would do her in so many ways, they'd
be able to write a sequel to the Kama Sutra.
Amber: She sang Barbra Steisand's "What Are You Doing With The Rest
Of Your Life." Well, one of the answers to that question is: Never
listening to Amber after Idol is over.
Angie: She sang a song I wasn't familiar with. Nevertheless, She
looked and sounded great, but you don't really need me to tell you that.
I'd let her pee on me.
Amber: She told some disgusting story about how she likes to eat
frozen shrimp. Right now, Burnell has locked himself inside of a storage
freezer. I'll give her this, she looked great, but she sounded dull as
hell. After the judges gave their useless critiques, Ryan joked about
Paul and Devin being gay. Ryan can be really good sometimes.
Lazaro: This performance proved there is no god.
Kree: Anthony Hopkins was in the audience tonight. That made me
think of Silence of the Lambs. Kree's performance made me think of
Buffalo Bill's pit in SOTL and how I wish Kree were down in it. It puts
the lotion on the skin...
Janelle: Sang some crappy song with her crappy country twang. She
should thank her lucky stars she is attractive, when she isn't talking
or singing that is.
Candice: This performance got a standing O. The O stands for "Overrated."
Theme 2: Songs The Contestants Wished They Had Wrote.
Angie: Again, sang I song I didn't know. Despite the religious tones
of the song, she did very well, of course. She sang it with such grace.
I would let her tie me up and paddle me.
Amber: Just declared Burnell to be in the friendzone. Poor bastard.
This crappy song she sang should have never got in action either.
Lazaro: It's storming out right now. This performance made me want t
grab a golf club and go stand out in the middle of the yard. If Porky
Pig here does not get eliminated tomorrow, then not only does it prove
there is no god, but it also proves there is no justice in this world.
Kree: Adele Wynette here sang another slow song. BORING.
Janelle: Sang a sappy Garth Brooks song. Enough said.
Candice: She sang The Cure's "Love Song." She should have been
wearing an apron, cause she butchered it. So many over the top notes and
moments, she could have sang any song this way. It was cookie cutter
diva singing. Hell, you could hear Satan himself groan at this
performance.
Side Note: Watching "The Voice" at the beginning of the week and
watching "Idol" the day after, reminded me of my viewing experience this
past Sunday. I watched the fantastic season3 premiere of "Game of
Thrones" then I watched the disappointing season finale of "The Walking
Dead." Watching the superior show before the inferior one just makes the
inferior one suck even more.
Allons-y!
They did the "contestants make fun of the next singer' video
packages tonight. For Burnell's they all made fun of the way he talked.
If only they had done that for Lazaro.
Burnell: He sang Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name." Well,
Burnell gives music a bad name. This guy can't sing worth crap. This
song exposed just how bad he sings. Also, Burnie once again wasn't
familiar with the very popular song he chose to sing. I was beginning to
wonder what rock he lived under, but I remembered it doesn't matter,
since it got washed away when Katrina hit.
Lazaro and Angie sang Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."
Angie was great, of course, but Lazaro was so bad, that I hope like hell
he dies of Freddie Mercury Poison, aka AIDS.
Kree: She sang Janis Joplin's "Little Piece of My Heart." Nicki
likes to call her "Kreedom." Well, Kreedom is just another word for I
hope this chick is going to lose.
Burnell and Candice sang "The Letter." I've got a letter for them: F
Janelle: She sang my favorite Billy Joel song of all time, "You May
Be Right." And of course, she made it sound country. I hope she gets ran
over by a tractor.
Lazaro: The contestants talked about how gay he is. Speaking of, he
decided to sing another Queen song, this time it was "We Are The
Champions." If Spazaro here is a champion, I'd hate to hear what the
loser sounds like. This guy is crap. Also, he sweats likes a Priest in a
pre-school.
Amber, Janelle, and Kree sang together. If you were to tell me I was
going to watch a threesome with three attractive women in it and it was boring, I would have called you a liar. But then I watched this.
Candice: She sang The Rollings Stones classic "I Can't Get No Satisfaction." When I listen to her sing, neither can I.
Amber: She sang Heart's "What About Love." She should have sang
"Never." My apologies, I got that last sentence wrong, she should have
never sang.
Angie: Sang "Bring Me To Life." And that's exactly what she did,
after this dull ass show, she brought me back to life with her
performance. Looked and sounded spectacular. Saved the best for last.
