The X-Factor 11-21-12

In honor of Thanksgiving, each performance review will have a video depicting the equivalent of something the world might be thankful for.

Tate: Sang "I'm Already There." If "there" is the bottom of the country barrel, then yes Tate, you are already there. This was dreck. http://youtu.be/xcVwLrAavyA

Diamond: Told a touching tale of who gives a crap? Sang a Celine Dion song. And just like most people who sing Celine, she sucked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJjJ5WB3izg

Emblem 3: They gave thanks to the youth leaders who molested them when they were kids. Explains everything. I have a theory that singers who grab their crotch during a performance were sexually abused as children. Thanks for proving me right, guys. BTW, they sucked. http://youtu.be/3zc52Coepgg

Arin: Said there wasn't a "Brother's Day." If there was, I'm sure it would be in February. Once again, he sucked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12FQ2YmPJnE

CeCe: She told a touching tale about her poor sister who died of cerebral palsy. It was very heartfelt, and it made me feel for CeCe even more. She looked amazing tonight. Sang the classic "Wind Beneath My Wings" and gave a very emotional rendition. It was a very touching tribute to her sister and all of those we may have lost. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYHwStHGRtQ

5th Agony: Thanked God for whatever. Ugh. Nothing is a bigger turn off than religion. Except single mothers. Well, if "god" heard their thanks, he didn't care, cause they sounded like a choir of tortured souls that have been hired to give Satan a boner from hearing all this suffering. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icNTs30ZRvQ

Beatrice: Told some tale about a couple of tards her family adopted. Yay rah. I can see Beatrice having a hit album. If it was marketed as a cure for insomnia. For somebody with such a 'tude, she sure does give the most boring performances. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKlm-kxFzzo

Vino: http://youtu.be/zaCdKwFcHnw

Paige: Another Wah tale of no one gives a damn. Paige should have thanked her fake mother for not teaching her about birth control. Another craptastic performance. She tried to outdo CeCe with "emotion" but it came off as pathetic. Paige needs to go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgcQfIt1kqw

Carly: Sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." I kept waiting for a house to drop on her. This was all over the place. Not even a pair of Ruby Red Slippers could giver a good voice. http://youtu.be/XT7CtF5ljxY