THE BEST
1: AcroArmy (Acrobats) They put on a hell of show that I would want to watch again. great moves.
2: Blue Journey (Creative Dance) This was a beautiful and surreal dance that was really well choreographed.
3: Mat Franco (Magician) If you really
think about, you can kinda get a picture on how it was done, but it was
still impressive never the less.
THE OKAY
4: Emil & Dariel (Cellist) This was a
grand cover of "Live and Let Die" but nothing that stood out from other
covers of the song I've heard before.
5: Christian Stoinev (Balancing Act) The hand walking was pretty impressive, but the focus being on the dog is what is killing this act.
6: Smoothini (Magician) Pretty
impressive slight of hand, but it's still just slight of hand. For a
"million dollar act" we deserve something more.
THE WORST
7: Baila Combingo (Dancers) This was just meh.
8: Jonah Smith (Singer) He was fine, but I'm sick of the singers on this show.
9: Jacob Curlee (Another Singer) He sucked.
10: Kelli Glover (Yet Another Singer) She really sucked.
11: Quintavious Johnson (Hey Look! He's a Sing Too!) He really really sucked.
12: Wendy Liebman (Comedian) If something
or someone makes a person laugh, then by definition they are funny.
However, I don't think Wendy is funny. I think the "laughs" she got out
of the judges and the few people in the audience were conditioned
laughs. Like Pavlov's dog.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
America's Got Talent Season 9 QF Week 4.
I'm going to split tonight's acts into 3 groups. The Good, The Okay, and The Terrible.
THE GOOD
1: Jonatan Riquelme (Danger Act) This was the act I's been waiting for all season. It was intense, it had me on edge, and I loved every second of it.
2: Ninna Buri (Contortionist) If this gal asks you if you are a god, you say "yes." And then watch her perform one of the most gorgeous contortionist acts you will ever see. She is a living work of art.
THE OKAY
3: Extreme (Dance Group) Performing after the Bad Boys of Ballet helped this act a lot. It may it so much better than it probably actually was.
4: Mothmen Dance (Aerial Dance Group)It's a good concept, but they really didn't take it to the elvels they should have. It all seemed pretty bland as a whole.
5: Kelli Glover (Singer) She sounded pretty good. But you have to be a great singer to really stand out on these shows. She isn't great.
6: Emil & Dariel (Cellists) Their rendition of "Can't Get No Satisfaction" was just, and this is the theme for most of the acts this season, fine. It was nothing special. Nothing really unique. I've seen much better covers of rock songs with non-traditional instruments on YouTube.
7: Jonah Smith: I take notes as I watch and then I type them out here, I got this guy marked as "Okay" but I'll be damned if I can remember a thing about him. And I'm typing this just 10 minutes after finishing the show.
THE BAD
8: Smoothini (Magician) The season's magic acts have been terrible. Smoothini was supposed to be the saving grace. He wasn't. The tricks were very good slight of hand tricks, but it's street magic performed on a stage. It was kind of sad to watch, and having Howie up there made it worse.
9: Quintavious Jones (Singer) Completely overrated. You could put a good engine into a car, but it still ain't going anywhere unless it has wheels. This kid doesn't have the wheels.
10: Once Voice Children's Choir (Choir) This was a mess. The kids really don't sound that great together and the lead girl's voice just isn't strong enough.
11: Dom The Bom's Triple Threat (Card Thrower) Another mess. The only thing this kid's got going for him is, he's a kid. Having watched a lot of Ricky Jay videos, if this kid was an adult doing all of this, it wouldn't really be impressive.
12: Bad Boys Of Ballet: This was the most boring act ever presented this season. Terrible.
THE GOOD
1: Jonatan Riquelme (Danger Act) This was the act I's been waiting for all season. It was intense, it had me on edge, and I loved every second of it.
2: Ninna Buri (Contortionist) If this gal asks you if you are a god, you say "yes." And then watch her perform one of the most gorgeous contortionist acts you will ever see. She is a living work of art.
THE OKAY
3: Extreme (Dance Group) Performing after the Bad Boys of Ballet helped this act a lot. It may it so much better than it probably actually was.
4: Mothmen Dance (Aerial Dance Group)It's a good concept, but they really didn't take it to the elvels they should have. It all seemed pretty bland as a whole.
5: Kelli Glover (Singer) She sounded pretty good. But you have to be a great singer to really stand out on these shows. She isn't great.
6: Emil & Dariel (Cellists) Their rendition of "Can't Get No Satisfaction" was just, and this is the theme for most of the acts this season, fine. It was nothing special. Nothing really unique. I've seen much better covers of rock songs with non-traditional instruments on YouTube.
7: Jonah Smith: I take notes as I watch and then I type them out here, I got this guy marked as "Okay" but I'll be damned if I can remember a thing about him. And I'm typing this just 10 minutes after finishing the show.
THE BAD
8: Smoothini (Magician) The season's magic acts have been terrible. Smoothini was supposed to be the saving grace. He wasn't. The tricks were very good slight of hand tricks, but it's street magic performed on a stage. It was kind of sad to watch, and having Howie up there made it worse.
9: Quintavious Jones (Singer) Completely overrated. You could put a good engine into a car, but it still ain't going anywhere unless it has wheels. This kid doesn't have the wheels.
10: Once Voice Children's Choir (Choir) This was a mess. The kids really don't sound that great together and the lead girl's voice just isn't strong enough.
11: Dom The Bom's Triple Threat (Card Thrower) Another mess. The only thing this kid's got going for him is, he's a kid. Having watched a lot of Ricky Jay videos, if this kid was an adult doing all of this, it wouldn't really be impressive.
12: Bad Boys Of Ballet: This was the most boring act ever presented this season. Terrible.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
America's Got Talent Season 9 Quarter Finals Round 3
Here are tonight's acts from best to worst.
1: Christian Stoinev (Acrobat) I'm more of a cat person, but that dog was pretty damn good. The human is very good as well. Taking the typical balancing act and adding the dog is a recipe for success.
2: Blue Journey (Dance Duo) Another act using background animations to their advantage, they did very well, considering hald of the time they were on the floor. It was a magical thing to watch.
3: Sons of Serendip: (Band) They did a cover of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" and it was a very good cover. I really like the way they arrange the songs.
4: AcroArmy (Acrobats) This was very entertaining. Some dangerous moves and unique positions were displayed. They used "Mind Heist" from the Inception trailer which has been proven scientifically to make anything appear epic when it's being played.
5: Kiernan & Finian Makepeace (Band of Brothers) They did a cover of Ellie Goulding's "Lights." I actually enjoyed this cover. They did something different with it and it worked.
6: Cornell Bhangra (Dance Group) I'm surprised that I actually liked this more than I thought I would. I don't think I could stand too much of it, but it was enjoyable for the small time they were performing.
7: Dragon House "The Agents" (Dance Group) This seemed like the typical slow motion/contortionist dance moves we've seen numerous times on this show. There was no real flow to their performance tonight, it was just there but not really doing anything.
8: Anna Clendening (Singer) Did a cover of Christina Perri's "Human." Because of course she would. I don't buy this chick's deal at all.I felt nothing at all while hearing this.
9: Adrian Romof (Pianist) He can play the piano really well. Whoopty do. Fine, he's 9, a child prodigy, and blah blah blah. It's more fun watching Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia play Heart and Soul on a walking piano than watching this kid play anything.
10: Mike Super (Magician) The "Desmond" act is tiring. The tricks are mundane at best.
11: Paul Ieti (Singer) This was ho hum. I don't like his voice at all.
12: Wendy Liebman (Comedian) Yesterday, the laughter died. Wendy did nothing to resurrect it.
1: Christian Stoinev (Acrobat) I'm more of a cat person, but that dog was pretty damn good. The human is very good as well. Taking the typical balancing act and adding the dog is a recipe for success.
2: Blue Journey (Dance Duo) Another act using background animations to their advantage, they did very well, considering hald of the time they were on the floor. It was a magical thing to watch.
3: Sons of Serendip: (Band) They did a cover of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" and it was a very good cover. I really like the way they arrange the songs.
4: AcroArmy (Acrobats) This was very entertaining. Some dangerous moves and unique positions were displayed. They used "Mind Heist" from the Inception trailer which has been proven scientifically to make anything appear epic when it's being played.
5: Kiernan & Finian Makepeace (Band of Brothers) They did a cover of Ellie Goulding's "Lights." I actually enjoyed this cover. They did something different with it and it worked.
6: Cornell Bhangra (Dance Group) I'm surprised that I actually liked this more than I thought I would. I don't think I could stand too much of it, but it was enjoyable for the small time they were performing.
7: Dragon House "The Agents" (Dance Group) This seemed like the typical slow motion/contortionist dance moves we've seen numerous times on this show. There was no real flow to their performance tonight, it was just there but not really doing anything.
8: Anna Clendening (Singer) Did a cover of Christina Perri's "Human." Because of course she would. I don't buy this chick's deal at all.I felt nothing at all while hearing this.
9: Adrian Romof (Pianist) He can play the piano really well. Whoopty do. Fine, he's 9, a child prodigy, and blah blah blah. It's more fun watching Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia play Heart and Soul on a walking piano than watching this kid play anything.
10: Mike Super (Magician) The "Desmond" act is tiring. The tricks are mundane at best.
11: Paul Ieti (Singer) This was ho hum. I don't like his voice at all.
12: Wendy Liebman (Comedian) Yesterday, the laughter died. Wendy did nothing to resurrect it.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
America's Got Talent Season 9 Quarter Finals Round 2
Oooh boy, this was a bad night. Let's get this over with. Order of acts are listed from Best to Worst.
1: Aerial Animation (Aerial Acrobat) The only act of the night that had some imagination behind it. She could be this year's Kenichi.
2: Andrey Moraru (Hand Balance) He is very good at twisting his body around and doing incredible poses and moves, but I feel if he made the act a little more dangerous, he would really up the ante of entertainment.
3: Darik Santos (Comedian) The judges are spot on with Emo Philips comparisons. This guy seems like he could be Emo's son. But he's not at the talent level that Emo was on his bad days. Darik's jokes are very much styled like Emo's, but Emo's do a lot better job of going to places you don't expect. That being said, Darik did make me laugh a few times during his act.
4: Loop Rawlins (Cowboy) Tonight seemed more of the same, despite the ring of fire, which really didn't do anything. He's very good at twirling the rope around, but he needs to step his game up.
5: Mat Franco (Magician) He's got one thing going for him, he's no where near as bad as David and Leeman. However, his trick wasn't very good tonight. It was obvious Howie was in on the act. Sad.
6: Acte II (Opera Duet) They were the most solid of the singers tonight, but it was a weird opera rendition of "I Will Always Love You." They made it this far in the list just by not sucking as much as the others.
7: Hart Dance Team (Dance Group) They had an interesting gimmick, but they didn't do much with it. It quickly devolved into a typical dance group routine, and we got to much of those as it is.
8: Jacob Curlee (Singer) I was to busy getting over my nausea from hearing about his foster home story again to really listen to him sing. From what I did hear, it sounded mediocre at best.
9: Mara Justine (Singer) When she gets into her lower register, she really sucks. When she gets higher and at her normal range, she only sounds slightly sucky.
10: John & Andrew (Dancers) They move really well together. I don't care that it's two guys dancing, but when two people are dancing, they should be doing something inventive. I saw none of that.
11: Livy, Matt, & Sammy (Band) They did a horrible rendition of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls." It was an indie band cover and it was as bland as you would expect it to be. This sucked hard.
12: Juan Carlos (Stupid Waste of Time) This was a stupid waste of time.
1: Aerial Animation (Aerial Acrobat) The only act of the night that had some imagination behind it. She could be this year's Kenichi.
2: Andrey Moraru (Hand Balance) He is very good at twisting his body around and doing incredible poses and moves, but I feel if he made the act a little more dangerous, he would really up the ante of entertainment.
3: Darik Santos (Comedian) The judges are spot on with Emo Philips comparisons. This guy seems like he could be Emo's son. But he's not at the talent level that Emo was on his bad days. Darik's jokes are very much styled like Emo's, but Emo's do a lot better job of going to places you don't expect. That being said, Darik did make me laugh a few times during his act.
4: Loop Rawlins (Cowboy) Tonight seemed more of the same, despite the ring of fire, which really didn't do anything. He's very good at twirling the rope around, but he needs to step his game up.
5: Mat Franco (Magician) He's got one thing going for him, he's no where near as bad as David and Leeman. However, his trick wasn't very good tonight. It was obvious Howie was in on the act. Sad.
6: Acte II (Opera Duet) They were the most solid of the singers tonight, but it was a weird opera rendition of "I Will Always Love You." They made it this far in the list just by not sucking as much as the others.
7: Hart Dance Team (Dance Group) They had an interesting gimmick, but they didn't do much with it. It quickly devolved into a typical dance group routine, and we got to much of those as it is.
8: Jacob Curlee (Singer) I was to busy getting over my nausea from hearing about his foster home story again to really listen to him sing. From what I did hear, it sounded mediocre at best.
9: Mara Justine (Singer) When she gets into her lower register, she really sucks. When she gets higher and at her normal range, she only sounds slightly sucky.
10: John & Andrew (Dancers) They move really well together. I don't care that it's two guys dancing, but when two people are dancing, they should be doing something inventive. I saw none of that.
11: Livy, Matt, & Sammy (Band) They did a horrible rendition of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls." It was an indie band cover and it was as bland as you would expect it to be. This sucked hard.
12: Juan Carlos (Stupid Waste of Time) This was a stupid waste of time.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
America's Got Talent Season 9 Quarterfinals Round 1
I will present to you tonight's acts from best to worst.
1. Valo & Booby (Danger Act) This was innovative, risky, and dangerous. It was also fantastic. I love acts that make me sit up and pay attention and this one had me on edge.
2. J.D. Anderson (Strongman Act) Just like Valo and Bobby, this was entertaining to watch. This risk involved kicks it up a notch. And watching him mess one up and almost blocking out just added to the excitement.
3. Dan Naturman (Comedian) The doctor bit was very good. He made me laugh out loud, which is what a comedian is supposed to do.
4. Miguel Dakota (Singer) He sang "Come Together" by The Beatles. Finally, a singer that knows how to mix it up once in a while. Biggest pet peeve are singers who perform the same way over and over on these shows. He was the best singer of the night.
5. Jasmine Flowers (Fan Dancers) I'm not a fan (wink wink) of general dance groups, but the dance groups that bring something interesting into their acts are always welcome. The fan dancing is great. They just need to kick it up a notch.
6. Flight Crew Jump Rope (Rope Jumpers) This wasn't exciting as it could have been. They said it was dangerous, but it looked liked they played it safe. It's fun to watch, but it didn't make me sit up and pay too much attention.
7. Emily West (Singer) She sang "Chandelier" by Sia. This wasn't very impressive. The song sucks, her voice was good, but it just didn't have the right kind of spark. She looks like she does belong in New York though. Just on a street corner and not at Radio City Music Hall.
8. The Willis Clan (Singing Group) They sang "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and The News. Points for singing a song from Back To The Future. The bluegrass style could have worked if they had put a bit more energy into it. As such, it felt kind of flat.
9. Baila Commingo (Dance Group) The can move fast and they are well coordinated, which you would want from a dance group. But that's all they do. Dance. Nothing added to it, nothing new. So, boring as hell.
10. Julia Goodwin (Singer) Sang "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls. She would do really well on the stage she actually belongs on, a High School Talent Show stage.
11. David & Leeman (Magicians) So, they had Howie read off a word on a piece of a book page, that they had picked out. And when Howie didn't give them the word they wanted, they had him pick a different one, that they pointed out to him. What a shocking trick! This was all around dull. The set up was dull and the reveal was dull. I've seen better magic tricks at a 6 year old's birthday party.
12. Sean & Luke (Tap Dancers) Watching two guys tap dance is as exciting as reading a Lego instruction booklet, without having any Legos. You can't spell Tap Dancing Brothers without B-O-R-I-N-G.
1. Valo & Booby (Danger Act) This was innovative, risky, and dangerous. It was also fantastic. I love acts that make me sit up and pay attention and this one had me on edge.
2. J.D. Anderson (Strongman Act) Just like Valo and Bobby, this was entertaining to watch. This risk involved kicks it up a notch. And watching him mess one up and almost blocking out just added to the excitement.
3. Dan Naturman (Comedian) The doctor bit was very good. He made me laugh out loud, which is what a comedian is supposed to do.
4. Miguel Dakota (Singer) He sang "Come Together" by The Beatles. Finally, a singer that knows how to mix it up once in a while. Biggest pet peeve are singers who perform the same way over and over on these shows. He was the best singer of the night.
5. Jasmine Flowers (Fan Dancers) I'm not a fan (wink wink) of general dance groups, but the dance groups that bring something interesting into their acts are always welcome. The fan dancing is great. They just need to kick it up a notch.
6. Flight Crew Jump Rope (Rope Jumpers) This wasn't exciting as it could have been. They said it was dangerous, but it looked liked they played it safe. It's fun to watch, but it didn't make me sit up and pay too much attention.
7. Emily West (Singer) She sang "Chandelier" by Sia. This wasn't very impressive. The song sucks, her voice was good, but it just didn't have the right kind of spark. She looks like she does belong in New York though. Just on a street corner and not at Radio City Music Hall.
8. The Willis Clan (Singing Group) They sang "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and The News. Points for singing a song from Back To The Future. The bluegrass style could have worked if they had put a bit more energy into it. As such, it felt kind of flat.
9. Baila Commingo (Dance Group) The can move fast and they are well coordinated, which you would want from a dance group. But that's all they do. Dance. Nothing added to it, nothing new. So, boring as hell.
10. Julia Goodwin (Singer) Sang "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls. She would do really well on the stage she actually belongs on, a High School Talent Show stage.
11. David & Leeman (Magicians) So, they had Howie read off a word on a piece of a book page, that they had picked out. And when Howie didn't give them the word they wanted, they had him pick a different one, that they pointed out to him. What a shocking trick! This was all around dull. The set up was dull and the reveal was dull. I've seen better magic tricks at a 6 year old's birthday party.
12. Sean & Luke (Tap Dancers) Watching two guys tap dance is as exciting as reading a Lego instruction booklet, without having any Legos. You can't spell Tap Dancing Brothers without B-O-R-I-N-G.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
American Idol Season 13 Final 3
This whole Selfie thing makes me wish that we'd all get wiped out by a
giant asteroid. Still wouldn't stop these selfie douches to take a pic
of themselves with the asteroid in the background. Omg!
#EndOfTheWorldSelfie #YOLO
Randy's Picks
Caleb: Sang "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS. If the lead singer of INXS hadn't killed himself back in 1997, he probably would have killed himself tonight after hearing this performance. This was dreadful.
#HopeHisVoiceTearsApart
Alex: He sang "Pompeii" by Bastille. I love this song, so as soon as Randy said he picked this song for Alex, Randy became dead to me. Hearing Alex sing it was like that scene in "Pet Sematary." The one where the father see Gage get hit by the truck. That's how I felt hearing Alex sing this. Alex attempting to perform this song is the equivalent of Corky from "Life Goes One" being the lead role in "Hamlet." Terrible.
#BelongsInTheBastille
Jena: Sang "Titanium." Well, her voice wasn't titanium, more like hydrogen. It was all over the place. She has the kind of voice that can cause seizures.
#SheWillFall
Judges Picks.
Caleb: He sang "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. Before we begin. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX5TO_-CztU That's how this song is done. Caleb's version, was laughably bad. This was so weak. It was like watching a 5 year old bowl with an adult sized bowling ball.
#LeaveTheSlayingOfDemonsToSamAndDean
Alex: Sang "Stay" by Rihanna. This performance was as bad as the suit he was wearing. Once again, he sang this song in the same style as every song he has sang. There was this act on America's Got Talent that sang the exact same song every time they performed. It was called The Booty Song or something stupid like that. Anyways, THEY were more versatile than Alex is.
#Go
Jena: Sang "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato. In the first episode of "house of Cards" Frank Underwood discovers his neighbor's dog after it was hit by a hit and run driver. Frank snaps the dog's neck, not just to put it out of its misery, but to get the situation over with. This performance needed a Frank Underwood.
#GaveMeAnEarAttack.
Home Town Picks.
Caleb: His retarded fans voted for "Dazed and Confused" by Zeppelin. Same crap, different day. This was just bad. The theatrics at the end were a joke. And not the funny kind. The audience and judges reaction to this was embarrassing.
#DejaBlew
Alex: Sang "Story of My Life" again. The band that sang this song is "One Direction." Alex has no direction. He is on a dead end street. He is the lowest rung on the ladder. People only like him because he is simple. He is the easy mode on video games. These things are fine, on occasion, but all of the time is just pathetic. And Alex is like that all of the time.
#LoserTheLifeStoryOfAlex
Jena: Sang "Creep." Again. A bad performance that capped off one of the worst Final 3 in Idol history.
#NoneOfYouBelongHere
Randy's Picks
Caleb: Sang "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS. If the lead singer of INXS hadn't killed himself back in 1997, he probably would have killed himself tonight after hearing this performance. This was dreadful.
#HopeHisVoiceTearsApart
Alex: He sang "Pompeii" by Bastille. I love this song, so as soon as Randy said he picked this song for Alex, Randy became dead to me. Hearing Alex sing it was like that scene in "Pet Sematary." The one where the father see Gage get hit by the truck. That's how I felt hearing Alex sing this. Alex attempting to perform this song is the equivalent of Corky from "Life Goes One" being the lead role in "Hamlet." Terrible.
#BelongsInTheBastille
Jena: Sang "Titanium." Well, her voice wasn't titanium, more like hydrogen. It was all over the place. She has the kind of voice that can cause seizures.
#SheWillFall
Judges Picks.
Caleb: He sang "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. Before we begin. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX5TO_-CztU That's how this song is done. Caleb's version, was laughably bad. This was so weak. It was like watching a 5 year old bowl with an adult sized bowling ball.
#LeaveTheSlayingOfDemonsToSamAndDean
Alex: Sang "Stay" by Rihanna. This performance was as bad as the suit he was wearing. Once again, he sang this song in the same style as every song he has sang. There was this act on America's Got Talent that sang the exact same song every time they performed. It was called The Booty Song or something stupid like that. Anyways, THEY were more versatile than Alex is.
#Go
Jena: Sang "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato. In the first episode of "house of Cards" Frank Underwood discovers his neighbor's dog after it was hit by a hit and run driver. Frank snaps the dog's neck, not just to put it out of its misery, but to get the situation over with. This performance needed a Frank Underwood.
#GaveMeAnEarAttack.
Home Town Picks.
Caleb: His retarded fans voted for "Dazed and Confused" by Zeppelin. Same crap, different day. This was just bad. The theatrics at the end were a joke. And not the funny kind. The audience and judges reaction to this was embarrassing.
#DejaBlew
Alex: Sang "Story of My Life" again. The band that sang this song is "One Direction." Alex has no direction. He is on a dead end street. He is the lowest rung on the ladder. People only like him because he is simple. He is the easy mode on video games. These things are fine, on occasion, but all of the time is just pathetic. And Alex is like that all of the time.
#LoserTheLifeStoryOfAlex
Jena: Sang "Creep." Again. A bad performance that capped off one of the worst Final 3 in Idol history.
#NoneOfYouBelongHere
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
American Idol Top 4 5/7/14
The selfie thing was stupid. And people actually taking part in it was stupid. As above, so below.
BREAK UP SONGS
Caleb: He sang "You Give Love A Bad Name." Caleb, you give rock a bad name. Another typical Caleb performance.
#SofaKingWeToddEd
Jessica: Sang "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. She gave this song a rocker chick edge to it. Perfect for this song. It wasn't her best, but it was still better than average.
#SheBetterNotBeGone
Alex: Sang "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Caleb was wrong, Alex is the one with the retarded fans. Anybody that liked this performance was dropped on their heads as a child. They probably go around licking the air to see if they can taste fairy farts. Note to Jennifer: Alex is about as unique as a tribal tattoo on a douche bag.
#CloseButNoCigar
Jena: Sang Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." I don't know about broken hearts, but now I know about broken ears. Her screeching almost gave me a nose bleed.
#SongBreaker
The judges are extra annoying tonight.
Dedication Songs
Caleb: He sang CCR's "Traveling Band." This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only sped up. Caleb may remind some people of another rocker, but Caleb is no Meatloaf, just a meatball.
#RetardRetreaded
Jessica: Sang P!nk's "So What." Good song for her, she had a blast singing it. I had a blast hearing it. There is no question that she is the most diverse contestant this season. Another great performance. Side Note: The judges really are on damage control tonight. They are doing their best to turn the audience against Jessica.
#StillARockStar
Jena: She sang "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa. Jena should call her version "Bad Performance."
#LadyGagGag
Alex: He sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. WHAT!?!!?!?! Alex is singing a Jason Mraz song!!! I had to go outside to make sure the sky wasn't falling. I thought for sure hell had frozen over or something. This was so left field for Alex... Oh wait, Alex singing this song was as predictable as seeing white trash in Walmart. You know what else was predictable? This sucked.
#AlexMrspaz
Make Up Songs
Caleb: He sang "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only slowed down. And Caleb knows slow.
#RetardingTheRetarded
Jessica: Sang Lady GaGa's "You And I." Note to Jena: This is how you sing GaGa. This was a flawless performance. Best of night.
*beep*
Jena: Sang Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love." I couldn't help covering my ears. This was an insult to legend that is Elvis Presley. In fact, it was so bad, the very spirit of Elvis tried to stop it from being broadcast.
#HunkOfBurningCrap
Alex: Sang Coldplay's "Yellow." Alex has one redeeming quality, he did spare us from another week of Sam. He probably chose "Yellow" because he has to piss all the time. And piss describes this performance perfectly.
#TooYellowToChangeItUp
BREAK UP SONGS
Caleb: He sang "You Give Love A Bad Name." Caleb, you give rock a bad name. Another typical Caleb performance.
#SofaKingWeToddEd
Jessica: Sang "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. She gave this song a rocker chick edge to it. Perfect for this song. It wasn't her best, but it was still better than average.
#SheBetterNotBeGone
Alex: Sang "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Caleb was wrong, Alex is the one with the retarded fans. Anybody that liked this performance was dropped on their heads as a child. They probably go around licking the air to see if they can taste fairy farts. Note to Jennifer: Alex is about as unique as a tribal tattoo on a douche bag.
#CloseButNoCigar
Jena: Sang Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." I don't know about broken hearts, but now I know about broken ears. Her screeching almost gave me a nose bleed.
#SongBreaker
The judges are extra annoying tonight.
Dedication Songs
Caleb: He sang CCR's "Traveling Band." This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only sped up. Caleb may remind some people of another rocker, but Caleb is no Meatloaf, just a meatball.
#RetardRetreaded
Jessica: Sang P!nk's "So What." Good song for her, she had a blast singing it. I had a blast hearing it. There is no question that she is the most diverse contestant this season. Another great performance. Side Note: The judges really are on damage control tonight. They are doing their best to turn the audience against Jessica.
#StillARockStar
Jena: She sang "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa. Jena should call her version "Bad Performance."
#LadyGagGag
Alex: He sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. WHAT!?!!?!?! Alex is singing a Jason Mraz song!!! I had to go outside to make sure the sky wasn't falling. I thought for sure hell had frozen over or something. This was so left field for Alex... Oh wait, Alex singing this song was as predictable as seeing white trash in Walmart. You know what else was predictable? This sucked.
#AlexMrspaz
Make Up Songs
Caleb: He sang "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only slowed down. And Caleb knows slow.
#RetardingTheRetarded
Jessica: Sang Lady GaGa's "You And I." Note to Jena: This is how you sing GaGa. This was a flawless performance. Best of night.
*beep*
Jena: Sang Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love." I couldn't help covering my ears. This was an insult to legend that is Elvis Presley. In fact, it was so bad, the very spirit of Elvis tried to stop it from being broadcast.
#HunkOfBurningCrap
Alex: Sang Coldplay's "Yellow." Alex has one redeeming quality, he did spare us from another week of Sam. He probably chose "Yellow" because he has to piss all the time. And piss describes this performance perfectly.
#TooYellowToChangeItUp
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