The selfie thing was stupid. And people actually taking part in it was stupid. As above, so below.
BREAK UP SONGS
Caleb: He sang "You Give Love A Bad Name." Caleb, you give rock a bad name. Another typical Caleb performance.
#SofaKingWeToddEd
Jessica: Sang "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. She gave
this song a rocker chick edge to it. Perfect for this song. It wasn't
her best, but it was still better than average.
#SheBetterNotBeGone
Alex: Sang "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Caleb was wrong, Alex is the
one with the retarded fans. Anybody that liked this performance was
dropped on their heads as a child. They probably go around licking the
air to see if they can taste fairy farts. Note to Jennifer: Alex is
about as unique as a tribal tattoo on a douche bag.
#CloseButNoCigar
Jena: Sang Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." I don't know about broken
hearts, but now I know about broken ears. Her screeching almost gave me a
nose bleed.
#SongBreaker
The judges are extra annoying tonight.
Dedication Songs
Caleb: He sang CCR's "Traveling Band." This sounded EXACTLY like his
first performance, only sped up. Caleb may remind some people of
another rocker, but Caleb is no Meatloaf, just a meatball.
#RetardRetreaded
Jessica: Sang P!nk's "So What." Good song for her, she had a blast
singing it. I had a blast hearing it. There is no question that she is
the most diverse contestant this season. Another great performance. Side
Note: The judges really are on damage control tonight. They are doing
their best to turn the audience against Jessica.
#StillARockStar
Jena: She sang "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa. Jena should call her version "Bad Performance."
#LadyGagGag
Alex: He sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. WHAT!?!!?!?! Alex is
singing a Jason Mraz song!!! I had to go outside to make sure the sky
wasn't falling. I thought for sure hell had frozen over or something.
This was so left field for Alex... Oh wait, Alex singing this song was
as predictable as seeing white trash in Walmart. You know what else was
predictable? This sucked.
#AlexMrspaz
Make Up Songs
Caleb: He sang "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. This sounded
EXACTLY like his first performance, only slowed down. And Caleb knows
slow.
#RetardingTheRetarded
Jessica: Sang Lady GaGa's "You And I." Note to Jena: This is how you sing GaGa. This was a flawless performance. Best of night.
*beep*
Jena: Sang Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love." I couldn't
help covering my ears. This was an insult to legend that is Elvis
Presley. In fact, it was so bad, the very spirit of Elvis tried to stop
it from being broadcast.
#HunkOfBurningCrap
Alex: Sang Coldplay's "Yellow." Alex has one redeeming quality, he
did spare us from another week of Sam. He probably chose "Yellow"
because he has to piss all the time. And piss describes this performance
perfectly.
#TooYellowToChangeItUp
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