Thursday, March 3, 2016

American Idol Final Season Top 8

This is the way Idol ends.
This is the way Idol ends.
This is the way Idol ends.
Not with a bang,
but a "Thank god that's over!"

-V. S. Eliot


The Top 10 get to perform again, with the bottom 3 singing for a Judge's save.

Because they always choose so well under pressure.
(See the past two season on why that's a huge lie)

Here are the seven that made it through.

Dalton: He sang "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons. I was imagining dragons all right. Imaging one came down and set that whole place on fire. Dalton took a pretty damn good song that's easy to rock to, and he made it sound boring as hell.
#Dullton


Lee: Sang "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. It was an ironic song choice, considering Lee was pouting about being compared to MacKenzie and the most prominent lyrics of that song is "Someone like you." Anyways, this was crap. Hopefully next week lil Lee Jean is going to be
#LeeGone


Keeping up with the celebration of Idol's last season, they brought out former X-Factor judge Demi Lovato to do a couple of pre-recorded performances. First one was utter crap that featured this season's contestants sign with her. The second one was called "Stone Cold" and it wasn't about Steve Austin at all. Also, Demi looked like she was trying to duplicate Kelly's performance from last week, but nobody was buying it.
Lovato 316 says "I just sang like crap!"


After this, the trailer for the new Ghostbuters aired.


I'm so glad for DVR, as I was able to pause Idol while I hooked up my backup TV, since I had just broken the main one after hitting it with a baseball bat.


Sonika: Sang "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly something or other. Sonika claims she's never had a boyfriend. Well, Sonika, if you are reading this, it will interest you to know that I make a great starter boyfriend.
I'm 15 years older than you, so you're parents will hate me.
I'm self centered and a borderline sociopath.
Even though I think you are quite hot, I will only give you back handed compliments like "You look great today! That's new."
I will check out and flirt with other women furthering your self confidence to hit an all time low.
I will do whatever it takes not to knock you up as I hate children.
Despite being a total jerk most of the time, you will continue to think about me after I break up with you and will be the measuring stick for your next several boyfriends, one of whom you will cheat on with me.
But I digress, this performance sucked.
#GettingVaidTonight


MacKenzie: Sang "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston. That Ghostbuster trailer showed us what happens with you take a classic thing, switch genders, and completely ignore what made it great to begin with. You ruin it. MacKenzie learned that lesson tonight the hard way.
#BourgBusters


La'Porsha: She got wide eyed when she learned that the makeup people were going to be messing around with her ridiculous wig, which she named Kokomo for some mad reason. She sang "Halo" by Beyonce. And she confirmed that every song she sings is going to sound exactly the same.
#KokomoFauxFro


Harry performed a song and it made me question exactly what his credentials are for being a judge of quality singing.


Trent: He talked about how he and Scott worked on his facials. Then he mentioned "the money shot." And now we have another ironic song choice as he sang "When a Man Loves A Woman." More like "When a man bores an audience." This was crap.
#IsThatHairGel


Tristian: Sang some song about a mountain. This turned out to be the performance of the night. She displayed the right emotion, didn't go too over the top, and sounded pretty damn decent. And it wasn't boring or an audio clone of an earlier performance.
#MountainAmongMolehills


And our saved contestant is
Avalon: She sang "Earned It" by The Weekend. She may have got the saved, but she only earned it cause the other two sucked worse than she did.
#FiftyShadesOfSuck

And goodbye to Olivia and Gianna hope you guys have the best of luck on The Voice next year.

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