The night started out with a "Rock Medley" featuring our top 9. This was horrendous. It was just a sign of things to come.
Alex: He sang No Doubt's "Don't Speak." The name of the song should
had been "Don't Sing." He did this stupid Jason Mrazesque rendition of
it. Terrible.
#NoDoubtHeSucks
Majesty: She attempted to sing Florence + The Machine's "Shake It
Out." I know it's not fair to compare the contestants to the original
artist, but this is a Florence Welch song she is trying to sing.
Florence is the best female vocalist alive today and Majesty isn't
worthy of being in her audience, let alone singing one of her songs.
What a disgrace this was.
#MajestyBrokeTheMachine
Dexter: He sang some country song. What little I heard of it sucked,
but I muted most of the performance. I had to "wash" that terrible
cover Majesty performed out of my head. Listen to this: http://youtu.be/qyXnZebVHf4
That is Florence performing "Shake It Out" live for the X-Factor (Britain)
That voice is pure raw talent. Florence's voice Mount Everest of
singing voices. Majesty's is barely an ant hill. Oh yeah, Dexter, the
rest of the song probably sucked.
#ItsCountryItsCrap
Malaya: She sang "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles. Well
Malaya, with a crappy voice like that, the road you're on is a dead end.
#RoadRash
Sam: Sang a terrible song, terrible.
#TerribleWoolf
Jessica: Sang Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon" This was the third time I
heard this song today. Jessica's cover was a refreshing version of it. A
nice showcase of her vocal talent, which is the best on this show.
#ThirdTimesACharm
CJ: Sang some stupid song. Not much to say here. It was bad.
#CrackerJacked
Caleb: Wow, he sure can go over the top. [sarcasm]He surprised me by
doing things he has never done before in his performances.[/sarcasm]
Enough with this one note yelling hack.
#HisZeppelinIsTheHindenburg
Jena: Sang "bring Me To Life" Well, this did the opposite, it damn
near killed me with it atrociousness. Her voice just isn't powerful
enough those heavy parts.
#ThisShowNeedsCPR
Side Note: The "Judges" suck.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
American Idol Top 10 3/19/14
Yes I know, you were all sad last week since there was no SATYR Review. But it's back this week and better than ever!
MK: Sang P!nk's "Perfect." This performance was far from that. MK didn't have the oomph in her voice for this song nor was it soft enough to be a quiet emotional take on it. This might be her last week.
#LookAtTheFlowersMK
Dexter: My Grandfather was a pilot in WW2. He once told me a story about his plane getting shot down. He bailed out in time and was rescued by ground troops. He would have nightmares about that day, his plane getting shot down, but he could never bail out. He would go down with the plane. One year for Christmas, my parents and I flew with him and Grandma to Florida to visit relatives there. Gramps was seated next to me. He fell asleep quickly. Half an hour later, we ran into some bad turbulence. Grandpa woke up screaming. It was bloodcurdling. It scared the life out of me. He passed away in 2006, but that scream has stayed with me since. And you know what? That scream sounded better than Dexter's performance.
#KamikazeKaraoke
Jena: Sang Zedd's "Clarity." The only thing that was clear to me is the fact that this chick can't sing worth crap.
#BlowStix
Alex: Sang some crapfest One Direction song since he is secretly working for Simon Cowell. Anyways, this was sucked.
#AlexSucksStoryOfHisLife
Malaya: Sang some dumb Bruno Mars song. It made me with Maylaya was booked on a Malaysian Airlines flight.
#GoneThenForgotten
Caleb: Sang Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." I wish I could push Caleb off that edge. Yes Caleb, please continue with the over the top notes in every performance, we are all so impressed by the fact that you can scream. Here's a goal for you, try not to make rock so damn dull.
#EdgeOfBoring
CJ: Somebody should tell him he would sound better if his mouth wasn't full of excrement. And I'm not talking about the song he sang.
#CrappyJowls
Jessica: Did a fantastic rendition of "Pumped Up Kicks." One of my favorite songs. The fact that she understood the essence of this song was a key factor in making this the performance of the night.
#SandyHookSchoolSong
Majesty: Sang "Wake Me Up." My sentiments exactly. This was boring as hell.
#SlumberParty
Sam: Tonight, my review is done. So let's set this douche on fire, cause he sings worse than everyone!!!!
#ThisWoolfIsNoFun
MK: Sang P!nk's "Perfect." This performance was far from that. MK didn't have the oomph in her voice for this song nor was it soft enough to be a quiet emotional take on it. This might be her last week.
#LookAtTheFlowersMK
Dexter: My Grandfather was a pilot in WW2. He once told me a story about his plane getting shot down. He bailed out in time and was rescued by ground troops. He would have nightmares about that day, his plane getting shot down, but he could never bail out. He would go down with the plane. One year for Christmas, my parents and I flew with him and Grandma to Florida to visit relatives there. Gramps was seated next to me. He fell asleep quickly. Half an hour later, we ran into some bad turbulence. Grandpa woke up screaming. It was bloodcurdling. It scared the life out of me. He passed away in 2006, but that scream has stayed with me since. And you know what? That scream sounded better than Dexter's performance.
#KamikazeKaraoke
Jena: Sang Zedd's "Clarity." The only thing that was clear to me is the fact that this chick can't sing worth crap.
#BlowStix
Alex: Sang some crapfest One Direction song since he is secretly working for Simon Cowell. Anyways, this was sucked.
#AlexSucksStoryOfHisLife
Malaya: Sang some dumb Bruno Mars song. It made me with Maylaya was booked on a Malaysian Airlines flight.
#GoneThenForgotten
Caleb: Sang Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." I wish I could push Caleb off that edge. Yes Caleb, please continue with the over the top notes in every performance, we are all so impressed by the fact that you can scream. Here's a goal for you, try not to make rock so damn dull.
#EdgeOfBoring
CJ: Somebody should tell him he would sound better if his mouth wasn't full of excrement. And I'm not talking about the song he sang.
#CrappyJowls
Jessica: Did a fantastic rendition of "Pumped Up Kicks." One of my favorite songs. The fact that she understood the essence of this song was a key factor in making this the performance of the night.
#SandyHookSchoolSong
Majesty: Sang "Wake Me Up." My sentiments exactly. This was boring as hell.
#SlumberParty
Sam: Tonight, my review is done. So let's set this douche on fire, cause he sings worse than everyone!!!!
#ThisWoolfIsNoFun
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
American Idol Top 12 3/5/14
Jena: Sang "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall. Well, suddenly I hear a flat boring voice.
#WTFWasSheWearing
Alex: Undercover X-Factor here sounded pretty good, despite the music itself being horrible.
#SimonSaysWin
Jessica: Sang Dido's "White Flag." Jess doesn't need to wave a white flag, cause she's got this in the bag. And damn, she is looking hotter every week.
#WhiteHot
Dexter: I'll be honest, I zoned out of this. He is generic country and that is just a step above Gospel music on the suck scale.
#SerialSongKiller
Emily: She got a nice message from her boyfriend who is serving over seas. She's probably cheating on him. She sang J. Lo.'s "Let's Get Loud." That is the exact opposite of what Emily should of done.
#LoweredSoldierMorale
Caleb: If this were Yelling Idol, Caleb would win this hands down.
#JerkinMan
MK: She had a bow tie on. Bow ties are cool. Too bad this performance wasn't. She sang the gawd awful Train song "Drops of Jupiter" and as a result, she performed badly.
#TheGirlWithTheCaliforniaTattoo
CJ: Sang a John Mayer song. So I immediately blacked out. I came to a couple minutes later to find blood on my walls. It wasn't mine. I have no idea what happened.
#CaptainJackass
Sam: Hipster douche who can't grow a hipster mustache sang some hipster song with his hipster hat on. Hipster.
#SuckyLikeTheWoolf
Malaya Sanjaya: This performance was so bad, I spent the whole time dreaming about how great it would have been if the world did blow up in 2012
#MalayanCalender
Ben: It was just ok.
#IGuess
Majesty: This night was full of crap performances and this was the perfect way to cap it off.
#CrownOfCrap
#WTFWasSheWearing
Alex: Undercover X-Factor here sounded pretty good, despite the music itself being horrible.
#SimonSaysWin
Jessica: Sang Dido's "White Flag." Jess doesn't need to wave a white flag, cause she's got this in the bag. And damn, she is looking hotter every week.
#WhiteHot
Dexter: I'll be honest, I zoned out of this. He is generic country and that is just a step above Gospel music on the suck scale.
#SerialSongKiller
Emily: She got a nice message from her boyfriend who is serving over seas. She's probably cheating on him. She sang J. Lo.'s "Let's Get Loud." That is the exact opposite of what Emily should of done.
#LoweredSoldierMorale
Caleb: If this were Yelling Idol, Caleb would win this hands down.
#JerkinMan
MK: She had a bow tie on. Bow ties are cool. Too bad this performance wasn't. She sang the gawd awful Train song "Drops of Jupiter" and as a result, she performed badly.
#TheGirlWithTheCaliforniaTattoo
CJ: Sang a John Mayer song. So I immediately blacked out. I came to a couple minutes later to find blood on my walls. It wasn't mine. I have no idea what happened.
#CaptainJackass
Sam: Hipster douche who can't grow a hipster mustache sang some hipster song with his hipster hat on. Hipster.
#SuckyLikeTheWoolf
Malaya Sanjaya: This performance was so bad, I spent the whole time dreaming about how great it would have been if the world did blow up in 2012
#MalayanCalender
Ben: It was just ok.
#IGuess
Majesty: This night was full of crap performances and this was the perfect way to cap it off.
#CrownOfCrap
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