Wednesday, February 26, 2014

American Idol Top 13 2/26/14

Dexter: He looks like a young Jay Leno. And what Leno is to comedy, this guy is to country music. A waste of time.
#CountryWrong


Mayala: She told us "Nothing is the same." Well, she was wrong. Cause this was just as horrible as her other performances. Easily the worst out of this bunch.
#SSDD


Kristen: I really wanted to like this, because this chick is hot, but this was a poor performance and if she keeps it up, she won't last long.
#SuchAShame


Ben: Despite myself, I actually enjoyed this guy. He has natural charisma. He didn't sound too bad.
#BizzaroWorld



C.J.: Generic country sound. Darius Rucker 2.0
#ChurchJerk



M.K.: She looked really pretty tonight. She still looks like a young Jonathan Taylor Thomas from a distance though. Wasn't her best, but it was decent.
#IdolImprovement


Majesty: Bad, bad, bad, bad ,bad. She reminds me of a Newton's Cradle. Once it gets going, it's fun to look at for a while, but it's gets boring and pointless after a minute.
#MajesticMess



Jena: Sang "The Scientist" by Coldplay. we don't need a scientist to test this theory: Jena sucks.
#ScienceBitch



Alex: Wait, he's friends with Alex and Sierra. And he's dating Jillian Jensen. This guy is an X-Facor plant. Simon is secretly trying to take Idol back over.
#VibaLaRevolution


Jessica: She said she's obsessed with Supernatural. I hope from Hell to Castiel she is talking about the show. Anyways, she is fantastic. The best female.
#SuperNaturalTalent



Emily: Very throaty, sexy voice. I like her a lot.
#IWantToSeeMoreOfHerPink



Sam: He sang Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell." And that is the perfect description for this performance. He is weak. And he looks like an older Carl Grimes.
#TheWalkingDud



Caleb: Yep, Jack Black light.
#SchoolOfSuck

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Review for American Idol 2/19/14 Top 10/15 Guys

It's Rush Week and not a single person sang Tom Sawyer.

If you thought the girls did great, then you must have loved the guys.

Caleb: Hack Jack Black did a great job of shouting out a tune.
#PretentiousD


C.J.: The hat he wore was so stupid, it made his mediocre performance sound like crap.
#CappedJerk


Emmanuel: 4 day old tacos from Taco Bell warmed up in a microwave couldn't give me a worse stomach ache than this performance did.
#EmmanuSmell


Sam: Boring. This was Ben Stein reading out loud transcripts of "Antiques Roadshow" boring.
#DullSamIAm


George: He sang "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. This performance made me wish I hade a grenade. Weak sauce.
#ThisGrenadeWasADud


Dexter: This was way too country.
#DextersFlab



Alex: As much as I want to hate him for snagging up Jillian, he is the best male singer out of this bunch.
#JillianNooooo



Malcolm: Gah, another mediocre performance. So much for 13 being Idol's lucky number. If Malcolm here is one of their best, then Idol should be put out of its misery like that other singing show Fox had.
#MalcolmXFactor



Ben: Well, I guess all that nonsense from last night wasn't for nothing. He was probably second best of the night. But that don't mean anything.
#AmericaMadeTheRightChoiceLOL



Spencer: Sucked. They saved the worst for last. Another Beiber clone that'll get by on good looks.
#LoveDontDieButDreamsDo

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Review for American Idol Top 10/15 Girls

Majesty: As soon as she started singing, the song got away from her. And she wasn't able to get it back. She sucks.
#OnHerMajestysSuckyService


Kristen: The song choice sucked. Her voice sounds older than she is. Mediocre at best. Lucky for her, she is hot.
#IdPlayDoctorWithThisNurse


Briana: She was decent. Not bad, but not really great. So automatically, she's one of the best in this competition.
#BravestWarrior


Jena(Gee-nah): This was crap. She "sang" The Rolling Stones classic "Paint It Black." This song was like a no name character on "The Walking Dead" and Jena was a walker. She tore into this song like it was a piece of meat.
#PaintItCrap


Bria: Unimpressive. It was so lackadaisical that I didn't bother coming up with anything else to say.
#WrongSideOfAnySong


Marrielle: Black Miley Cyrus. Nuff said.
#NoShoeSensation


Jessica: Her nerves were trying to get the best of her, but she held through. And the song choice didn't help either. Actually, most of the song choices were pretty bad tonight.
#IWantToHaveSexWithThisChick


Emily: This was a pretty sexy performance. The singing not that great though. But, I'll be keeping my eye on this girl nevertheless.
#OohLaLaIndeed



MK: This was probably the only honest performance of the night. It's actually great to finally have a contestant who isn't trying to over sing everything. She could be a tad stronger in some parts, but overall, she is a breath of fresh air. Also, I want her to get far in the competition, because it seems Keith has a slight problem with gay people.
#MoralKombat


Malaya: Really? REALLY? They bring out this thing instead of Jillian Jensen? WTF? This thing sucked all over the place.
#WTFWasThePointOfHavingATop15