Wednesday, February 24, 2016

American Idol Final Season Not Top Ten

Ohhhhh Blog Readers, don't you dare be sour! Clap for your Review Champion and feel the power!

It's a New Season, yes it is!


We start off with our Top 14 with 4 of them getting automatic passes to the Top 10. And those 4 are:

Dalton, Olivia, Trent, and Big Hair.

The other ten are going to sing in hopes of getting voted into the top 10. Which 6 will get it? Well, let's see how they did.


Manny: He sang "Master Blaster" by Stevie Wonder. This was less Master Blaster and more Master Bator. Total jerk off of a performance with no real satisfaction at the end.
#MannyTheHandy


Gianna: She sang "Put A Spell On You." She put a spell on me all right, Boringus Gotosleepus. If music is magic, then this daughter of a musician turned out to be a Squib.
#WitchIsWorse


Thomas: Sang "Story of my Life" by One Direction. Terrible song, terrible performance. The only direction this kid is going is straight home.
#ShortStory


Tristian: Sang "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts. Probably the best performance of the night. It wasn't bad, not that great either. It's like getting a Loot Crate where it's filled with inflatable crowns and air fresheners and one mystery bag item from Orphan Black. You're not a fan of the show, but it seems pretty cool and the mystery bag figure was a lot better than that other crap.
#NotAPopVinyl


Avalon: Sang "Yo" by Chris Brown. In the show "Gargoyles," time goes much slower on the island of Avalon than it does in the rest of the world. And there is not enough time there to get this crap performance out of my head. Gawd awful.
#YoYoBlah


Jenn: Sang "True Colors" by Cyndi Laupner. It looked like all the true colors were in this freak's eyebrows. This performance was nails on a chalkboard awful.
#ColorHerBad


Lee: Sang "Make It Rain" by Ed Sheeran. It didn't rain here, but it did snow. And watching that snow melt was a lot more exciting than anything in this performance.
#MakeItPlain


Sonika: Sang "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. Make your enemies listen to this performance and they'll surrender too. The boredom will completely wear them out.
#SonikaTheDredgeHog


Jeneve: Sang "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. Before he died, Cash gave us a tremendous cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt." It was glorious. This performance, was the exact opposite of that. Absolutely terrible from start to finish.
#HurtMyEarsToday


MacKenzie: Hank McCoy JR here sang his own song called "Roses." Speaking of Beasts and roses, the one in that Disney movie had to make someone fall in love with him before the petals of an enchanted rose fell completely off. If that beast tried to woo his beauty with this song, he would not have a happy ending.
#BeastOfBurden

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