Billboard Top Hits Night or AKA Songs You're Probably Sick Of Hearing.
Jax: Sang "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa. She was looking great tonight. She gave the song a new twist that made it sound unique and awesome. This was a triumph.
#PokeHerFace
Nick: Sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. Ugh. One pf Katy's worse songs made even more terrible. He made it sound like some stupid One Direction song. Sucked.
#TeenageWasteland
Quentin: Sang "Latch" by Sam Smith. This was a ho hum performance by Quentin. Sounded okay, but did nothing to stand out. Hit outfit was pretty cool though.
#PassionForFassion
Joey: Sang "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus. She came in like a bowling ball and didn't manage to hit a single gawd damn pin. Her voice was grating. She is to Sia what Dr. Thunder is to Dr. Pepper.
#GutterBall
Clark: Sang "Make It Rain" by Ed Sheeran. The mentors told him to sing this song like he was preaching. I'm an atheist and if I were to come across Clark preaching in the street, and the sky opened up and Jesus were to come down followed by a dozen angels and they all shined a light down on me, I still wouldn't believe in God. His talent lacks that much of a conviction. In fact, he is so boring to listen to, if the Earth were to get flooded and there was only one ship left floating and Clark was the on board entertainment, I would throw myself off.
#NoahsClark
Tyanna: Sang "Stay" by Rhianna. The lyrics ask me to stay, but this performance was making me want to go. Terrible.
#SoLongFarewellAufWeidersehenGoodbye
Rayvon: Sang "Set Fire To The Rain" by Adele. I long for the days when Adele is just a distant memory. Anyways, this performance made me want to buy some gasoline, douse myself with it, and light a match. Dreadful.
#BlisteringSatyr
And we say goodbye to the biggest waste of a Save ever on Idol, Qaasim. If I never see your ugly snarling face on my TV ever again, it will be too soon.
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