American Idol Season 13 Final 3

This whole Selfie thing makes me wish that we'd all get wiped out by a giant asteroid. Still wouldn't stop these selfie douches to take a pic of themselves with the asteroid in the background. Omg! #EndOfTheWorldSelfie #YOLO

Randy's Picks

Caleb: Sang "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS. If the lead singer of INXS hadn't killed himself back in 1997, he probably would have killed himself tonight after hearing this performance. This was dreadful.
#HopeHisVoiceTearsApart


Alex: He sang "Pompeii" by Bastille. I love this song, so as soon as Randy said he picked this song for Alex, Randy became dead to me. Hearing Alex sing it was like that scene in "Pet Sematary." The one where the father see Gage get hit by the truck. That's how I felt hearing Alex sing this. Alex attempting to perform this song is the equivalent of Corky from "Life Goes One" being the lead role in "Hamlet." Terrible.
#BelongsInTheBastille


Jena: Sang "Titanium." Well, her voice wasn't titanium, more like hydrogen. It was all over the place. She has the kind of voice that can cause seizures.
#SheWillFall




Judges Picks.

Caleb: He sang "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. Before we begin. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX5TO_-CztU That's how this song is done. Caleb's version, was laughably bad. This was so weak. It was like watching a 5 year old bowl with an adult sized bowling ball.
#LeaveTheSlayingOfDemonsToSamAndDean


Alex: Sang "Stay" by Rihanna. This performance was as bad as the suit he was wearing. Once again, he sang this song in the same style as every song he has sang. There was this act on America's Got Talent that sang the exact same song every time they performed. It was called The Booty Song or something stupid like that. Anyways, THEY were more versatile than Alex is.
#Go


Jena: Sang "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato. In the first episode of "house of Cards" Frank Underwood discovers his neighbor's dog after it was hit by a hit and run driver. Frank snaps the dog's neck, not just to put it out of its misery, but to get the situation over with. This performance needed a Frank Underwood.
#GaveMeAnEarAttack.


Home Town Picks.


Caleb: His retarded fans voted for "Dazed and Confused" by Zeppelin. Same crap, different day. This was just bad. The theatrics at the end were a joke. And not the funny kind. The audience and judges reaction to this was embarrassing.
#DejaBlew


Alex: Sang "Story of My Life" again. The band that sang this song is "One Direction." Alex has no direction. He is on a dead end street. He is the lowest rung on the ladder. People only like him because he is simple. He is the easy mode on video games. These things are fine, on occasion, but all of the time is just pathetic. And Alex is like that all of the time.
#LoserTheLifeStoryOfAlex


Jena: Sang "Creep." Again. A bad performance that capped off one of the worst Final 3 in Idol history.
#NoneOfYouBelongHere

American Idol Top 4 5/7/14

The selfie thing was stupid. And people actually taking part in it was stupid. As above, so below.


BREAK UP SONGS

Caleb: He sang "You Give Love A Bad Name." Caleb, you give rock a bad name. Another typical Caleb performance.
#SofaKingWeToddEd


Jessica: Sang "Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. She gave this song a rocker chick edge to it. Perfect for this song. It wasn't her best, but it was still better than average.
#SheBetterNotBeGone


Alex: Sang "Too Close" by Alex Clare. Caleb was wrong, Alex is the one with the retarded fans. Anybody that liked this performance was dropped on their heads as a child. They probably go around licking the air to see if they can taste fairy farts. Note to Jennifer: Alex is about as unique as a tribal tattoo on a douche bag.
#CloseButNoCigar

Jena: Sang Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." I don't know about broken hearts, but now I know about broken ears. Her screeching almost gave me a nose bleed.
#SongBreaker

The judges are extra annoying tonight.

Dedication Songs


Caleb: He sang CCR's "Traveling Band." This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only sped up. Caleb may remind some people of another rocker, but Caleb is no Meatloaf, just a meatball.
#RetardRetreaded


Jessica: Sang P!nk's "So What." Good song for her, she had a blast singing it. I had a blast hearing it. There is no question that she is the most diverse contestant this season. Another great performance. Side Note: The judges really are on damage control tonight. They are doing their best to turn the audience against Jessica.
#StillARockStar


Jena: She sang "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa. Jena should call her version "Bad Performance."
#LadyGagGag


Alex: He sang "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. WHAT!?!!?!?! Alex is singing a Jason Mraz song!!! I had to go outside to make sure the sky wasn't falling. I thought for sure hell had frozen over or something. This was so left field for Alex... Oh wait, Alex singing this song was as predictable as seeing white trash in Walmart. You know what else was predictable? This sucked.
#AlexMrspaz


Make Up Songs

Caleb: He sang "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. This sounded EXACTLY like his first performance, only slowed down. And Caleb knows slow.
#RetardingTheRetarded


Jessica: Sang Lady GaGa's "You And I." Note to Jena: This is how you sing GaGa. This was a flawless performance. Best of night.
*beep*


Jena: Sang Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love." I couldn't help covering my ears. This was an insult to legend that is Elvis Presley. In fact, it was so bad, the very spirit of Elvis tried to stop it from being broadcast.
#HunkOfBurningCrap


Alex: Sang Coldplay's "Yellow." Alex has one redeeming quality, he did spare us from another week of Sam. He probably chose "Yellow" because he has to piss all the time. And piss describes this performance perfectly.
#TooYellowToChangeItUp