After each performance, I will give a rating. XXXX=Super Sucked. XXX=Pretty Bad. XX=OK. X=Pretty Good. +=Excellent
Anna Christine (singer) This "11 year old" girl reminds me of the movie Orphan http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1148204/
She sang the absolute worst version of "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood",
a song made famous by The Animals. I understood perfectly. I understood
that it sucked.
XXX
Tellavision (dancers) I hate watching people dance. Unless there is
some gimmick involved or they are doing some amazing moves. These dances
have a gimmick, they dance around with monitors. It's a nice gimmick,
but their presentation of it sucks. XXX
American Hitmen (band) They performed "With A Little Help From My
Friends" Let's hope it's friendly fire. Just because they fought for
America, it doesn't mean they get magical passes. They sounded generic.
XXX
Special Head (various) What in the blue hell was this? This was the
stupidest thing I have ever seen. It's fitting that Special Ed here
lives in a short bus.
XXXX
Fresh Faces (dancers) More stupid dancing. Made worse by the fact
that it's a bunch of spoiled brats doing the dancing. They all remind me
of JonBenet Ramsey. hopefully, they suffer the same fate. Fingers
crossed.
XXX
Collins Key (magician) Wow! This was amazing! He had all 4 judges
tweet something different. Then, he pulled a paper out of a box hung in
the air, and revealed that he had already written down everything they
tweeted! How did he do that? It certainly couldn't have been the
"stagehand" in the back that brought out the ladder, which hid the paper
that the stagehand used to write down the judges tweets. Certainly not.
I got something to put on twitter for him, let's see if he can guess
it. #Sucked
XXX
Kevin Downy Jr. (comedian) After this guy performed, I imagined
Anthony Jeselnik telling some of these jokes. Only a couple of them were
funny. This guy's delivery, and screeching, his body movements are all
terrible.
XXX
Aaralyn and Izzy (band) Yep, it's the yelling girl who thinks she's metal. This was really fucking stupid.
XXXX
Alexandria the Great (escape artist) She got into a straight jacket.
She got chained up. She went into a locked box full of water. She
escaped. This was about as intense as a Dora the Explorer episode. Side
Note, her blonde daughter was freakin hot.
XXX
The Kristeff Brothers (balancing act) Impressive stuff. And it was humorous. Best thing on this show thus far.
X
Hype (dancers) More stupid dancing. Same generic moves we see from this type of dance group.
XXX
Brenden James (opera singer) He was actually pretty good. He does have a decent voice on him.
XX
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