Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Review for AGT 9/10/13
We are down to the final 12.
Let's go from worst act to best.
12: Collins Key (magician) Actually, calling this guy a magician is an insult to magicians. He took Nick's watch, adjusted the time ,and placed it in a bag. He took 2 cheap watches and placed them in separate bags, had Howie adjust the time on his watch. Then he had Heidi and Mel pick 2 bags for him to smash. The remaining bag had Nick's watch and the time matched Howie's watch.
I'm sure that was boring to read, well, it was even more boring to watch. How did he do it? Who cares?
11: Jimmy Rose (singer) Sang Blake Shelton's "God Gave Me You." If God does exist, then he is a cruel bastard, because he gave us Jimmy Rose.
10: D'Angelo & Amanda (dancers) It was faced paced and energetic, but so is my masturbating, and try as I may, I don't think that will get me on America's Got Talent.
9: Brendan James (opera singer) His parents are proud of him and no longer care that he is gay. It's inspiring. I hope every gay kid out there has a chance to win a million dollars so their parents can love them too. He did an operatic cover of that Hallelujah song that everybody does a cover of. He was all over the place with this. And this song makes me think of the sex scene in Watchmen.
8: Chicago Boys (acrobatics) I gave them high praise last week for doing bigger stunts, but this week they went back to the same boring routine. Well, they did do a human pyramid like jump stunt, but that was the only impressive thing about them this week.
7: Catapult Entertainment (shadow dancers) They story they told using their bodies as shadow puppets portrayed a boy who gets bullied at school. The bullies become monsters to him, but they are defeated when he remembers he has people who love him. What a bunch of sentimental crap. Ok, the dragon they made was cool, but there have been far better shadow dances than these clods.
6: Innovative Force (acrobatic dancing) Again, it was kind of all over the place, much like Chicago Boyz, but I think these girls have much better timing. And the helicopter spin they did with the three girls was very impressive.
5: Cami Bradley (singer) She sang Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer." She made it sound hauntingly beautiful. That is amazing.
4: Forte (opera trio) They did an Italian Operatic version of "My Heart Will Go On." There are 2 rules about covering a Celine Dion song: 1. Don't do it. 2. Especially if you're a guy. These 3 did the impossible. They sounded great.
3: Taylor Williamson (comedian) He and the next two acts are the only acts I was looking forward to seeing tonight, and they did not disappoint. Taylor makes me laugh. That's his job and he does it well. The therapy jokes was funny as hell.
2: Kristef Brothers (balancing and strength act)The whole infomerical setting, with the two couples in the back trying to duplicate the moves and failing was brilliant. These two guys are incredible at what they do. And they are funny.
1: Kenichi Ebina (Asian Jesus) Imagine a blind man getting a new pair of eyes and seeing the sunrise for the very first time. Imagine going to a different planet, and getting to see the night sky from a whole new perspective. Imagine standing on the top of The Dark Tower, and looking down at the sea of roses, and being able to get a glimpse of the light of all creation.
Imagine the beauty of all that.
None of that is as beautiful as Kenichi dancing.
Let's go from worst act to best.
12: Collins Key (magician) Actually, calling this guy a magician is an insult to magicians. He took Nick's watch, adjusted the time ,and placed it in a bag. He took 2 cheap watches and placed them in separate bags, had Howie adjust the time on his watch. Then he had Heidi and Mel pick 2 bags for him to smash. The remaining bag had Nick's watch and the time matched Howie's watch.
I'm sure that was boring to read, well, it was even more boring to watch. How did he do it? Who cares?
11: Jimmy Rose (singer) Sang Blake Shelton's "God Gave Me You." If God does exist, then he is a cruel bastard, because he gave us Jimmy Rose.
10: D'Angelo & Amanda (dancers) It was faced paced and energetic, but so is my masturbating, and try as I may, I don't think that will get me on America's Got Talent.
9: Brendan James (opera singer) His parents are proud of him and no longer care that he is gay. It's inspiring. I hope every gay kid out there has a chance to win a million dollars so their parents can love them too. He did an operatic cover of that Hallelujah song that everybody does a cover of. He was all over the place with this. And this song makes me think of the sex scene in Watchmen.
8: Chicago Boys (acrobatics) I gave them high praise last week for doing bigger stunts, but this week they went back to the same boring routine. Well, they did do a human pyramid like jump stunt, but that was the only impressive thing about them this week.
7: Catapult Entertainment (shadow dancers) They story they told using their bodies as shadow puppets portrayed a boy who gets bullied at school. The bullies become monsters to him, but they are defeated when he remembers he has people who love him. What a bunch of sentimental crap. Ok, the dragon they made was cool, but there have been far better shadow dances than these clods.
6: Innovative Force (acrobatic dancing) Again, it was kind of all over the place, much like Chicago Boyz, but I think these girls have much better timing. And the helicopter spin they did with the three girls was very impressive.
5: Cami Bradley (singer) She sang Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer." She made it sound hauntingly beautiful. That is amazing.
4: Forte (opera trio) They did an Italian Operatic version of "My Heart Will Go On." There are 2 rules about covering a Celine Dion song: 1. Don't do it. 2. Especially if you're a guy. These 3 did the impossible. They sounded great.
3: Taylor Williamson (comedian) He and the next two acts are the only acts I was looking forward to seeing tonight, and they did not disappoint. Taylor makes me laugh. That's his job and he does it well. The therapy jokes was funny as hell.
2: Kristef Brothers (balancing and strength act)The whole infomerical setting, with the two couples in the back trying to duplicate the moves and failing was brilliant. These two guys are incredible at what they do. And they are funny.
1: Kenichi Ebina (Asian Jesus) Imagine a blind man getting a new pair of eyes and seeing the sunrise for the very first time. Imagine going to a different planet, and getting to see the night sky from a whole new perspective. Imagine standing on the top of The Dark Tower, and looking down at the sea of roses, and being able to get a glimpse of the light of all creation.
Imagine the beauty of all that.
None of that is as beautiful as Kenichi dancing.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Review for AGT 9/3/13
Again, I'll list the acts from Best to Worst.
1: Kenichi (Awesome Man) This guy is fantastic. Perfect timing. I don't think he's human. He is robot built by the Japanese to win America's Got Talent.
2: Kristef Brothers (balancing act) These guys are funny and they pull of some amazing moves (regardless of the retractable blade) They are fun to watch.
3: Timber Brown (acrobat) Something was off from his previous performances, but he is still great at what he does and it's a blast to watch.
4: Chicago Boyz (acrobats) I didn't like their previous performances too much, but I'll give credit where credit is due, they did some good moves this time around. The 3 man totem pole jump was impressive.
5: John Wing (comedian) His material was pretty good, but didn't connect with me again.
6: Brenden James (opera singer) I always cringe when somebody covers Heart's "Alone", cause they almost always suck. Especially guys. But, his operatic version was decent.
7: Anna Christine (singer) She was ok, but the non-opera singers this year range from good (Cami) to mediocre (Anna) to crap (every one else)
8: Leon and Romy (magicians) Ok, they did several tricks in 90 seconds, but they were all stuff that has been performed countless times. Something new please.
9: Jimmy Rose (singer) Sounded like any other low level country singer you'd hear scanning through radio stations.
10: Marty Brown (singer) Same thing with Jimmy. Except Marty had a career and now he's washed up.
11: D'Angelo and Amanda (dancers) They are not bad, they are just there. It doesn't feel real to me, they have been trained by professionals and it shows.
12: The Army Wives Choir (choir) Bad harmonies and emotional manipulative crap. Makes me sick.
1: Kenichi (Awesome Man) This guy is fantastic. Perfect timing. I don't think he's human. He is robot built by the Japanese to win America's Got Talent.
2: Kristef Brothers (balancing act) These guys are funny and they pull of some amazing moves (regardless of the retractable blade) They are fun to watch.
3: Timber Brown (acrobat) Something was off from his previous performances, but he is still great at what he does and it's a blast to watch.
4: Chicago Boyz (acrobats) I didn't like their previous performances too much, but I'll give credit where credit is due, they did some good moves this time around. The 3 man totem pole jump was impressive.
5: John Wing (comedian) His material was pretty good, but didn't connect with me again.
6: Brenden James (opera singer) I always cringe when somebody covers Heart's "Alone", cause they almost always suck. Especially guys. But, his operatic version was decent.
7: Anna Christine (singer) She was ok, but the non-opera singers this year range from good (Cami) to mediocre (Anna) to crap (every one else)
8: Leon and Romy (magicians) Ok, they did several tricks in 90 seconds, but they were all stuff that has been performed countless times. Something new please.
9: Jimmy Rose (singer) Sounded like any other low level country singer you'd hear scanning through radio stations.
10: Marty Brown (singer) Same thing with Jimmy. Except Marty had a career and now he's washed up.
11: D'Angelo and Amanda (dancers) They are not bad, they are just there. It doesn't feel real to me, they have been trained by professionals and it shows.
12: The Army Wives Choir (choir) Bad harmonies and emotional manipulative crap. Makes me sick.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)